Jake
Time to fill up on some vegan-friendly, carb-free, low-calorie fast food jokes.
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My McDonald's bag says "How are we doin'?" and I feel personally understood by that company because they removed the G from "doing"
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) January 11, 2015
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crazy to think that back in the 1940s, extra guacamole at chipotle only cost a nickel
— lawblob (@lawblob) February 21, 2015
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[at McDonald’s]
WIFE: [furious] They forgot to give us straws again.
*I won’t look at her because I am a walrus*— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) May 25, 2015
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I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) February 27, 2014
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I just had an AMAZING salad at McDonalds. The toppings I chose were 4 big macs & 10 chicken mc nuggets with 9 sweet & sour packs as dressing
— drunkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (@BeerFarts101) July 27, 2011
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"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~Me at McDonald's on payday.
— Michael Nöthem (@mikandynothem) September 10, 2015
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My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt.
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) September 30, 2012
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Me: Where ya wanna eat for your birthday?
5yo: McDonald's
M: 5yr olds can think of somewhere better than McDonald's
5: I'll just stay 4 then— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 31, 2015
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Wife: can you believe some idiot robbed McDonald's for 2,000 chicken nuggets
[filling kiddie pool with ranch dressing] unbelievable
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) April 29, 2015
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There are few moments sadder than when they ask at the fast food drive-thru if you want to try the new featured item and you do.
— ratthew (@sucittaM) December 23, 2011
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McDonald's: I'm lovin' it. Not "loved it," nor "will love it." It exists only for a brief moment, a greasy spark soon extinguished
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) July 14, 2015
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3 cars back at the Burger King drive thru gives you a devastating amount of time to consider your missteps.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) May 9, 2012
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Burger King's full name was Burger Luther King Jr.
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) January 16, 2012
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*at mcdonald's*
ME: and one of the happy meal toys
CASHIER: for a little boy or girl?
ME: *sweating*
ME: …
ME: …
ME: yes of course it is— lil jon lovitz (@nbadag) January 12, 2015
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