Cats are cuddly and affectionate creatures — if by “cuddly,” you mean “dastardly,” and if by “affectionate” you mean “diabolical.”
As cat owners are well are, many felines are prone to villainous behavior that belies their sweet and fluffy exteriors. They take a special pleasure in knocking things off of countertops, they willfully sink their claws into your leg, and they have a constant and insatiable need to escape from the safety of your apartment.
It would all be incredibly frustrating if they weren’t so damn cute.
If you happen to own one of these very special and very infuriating cats, then these jokes are for you. (Don’t let the cat hear you laughing though — they will seek vengeance.)
1.
"Dogs are assholes"
DOG PERSON: YOU'RE an asshole!
"Cats are assholes"
CAT PERSON: Yeah— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 3, 2015
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I'm done with politics tweets until I get mad again. here is my cat pretending she doesn't know who destroyed the paper towels pic.twitter.com/c3AXIPTcD6
— flu haver (@rachelmillman) September 20, 2017
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My relationship with my cat is like when Leia says "I love you" and Han says "I know" except then Han knocks over everything on my desk
— Kendra ⚔️ (@kendrawcandraw) September 13, 2016
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うぎゃ〜 pic.twitter.com/SMgvzQXGsB
— 健 (@bnr7403) September 15, 2017
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can’t trust cats from funny
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*me petting my cat*
CAT: This is the happiest I will ever be*a door opens*
CAT: Now is my chance to flee this prison and never return— joe (@sad_tree) February 24, 2015
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Goodbye Mufasa. I'm the King now. pic.twitter.com/u7B1gMEAaL
— Maud Bernabé (@MaudBernab) August 12, 2017
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"It’s just like the sink" they said. Thirty dollars later and my cat is still an asshole. from funny
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i yelled at my cat… and now she's just sitting there plotting my murder pic.twitter.com/c8g4ztUlCs
— ˗ˏˋaeˎˊ˗ (@hippieepotamus) October 10, 2017
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My cat is a jerk… from funny
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture that so fully summed up what it is to be a cat owner. pic.twitter.com/UNyMTSMM3K
— Emergency Kittens (@EmrgencyKittens) October 5, 2017
18.
Cats are assholes. from funny