Every day, society expects us to peel ourselves away from the giant, soft, warm rectangle in our bedrooms and go out into cold, cruel world and be productive in some way. It’s straight-up ridiculous. What, like outside is better than our bed, the safe haven in which we dream and screw around and watch viral videos?
While many people are willing to play along with this elaborate ruse, there are some of us who just wish that we could spend the entire day in bed, lounging and sleeping to our tired little heart’s content. (I’m actually tempted to call us “Night Stans” because how much we stan for sleeping.)
If you are one of these snuggly, sleepy folks, then please direct your attention to these tweets, which are especially for you. The world may want you to “rise” and “shine,” but you and I both know that you can shine perfectly well while taking a nap, thankyouverymuch.
1.
"You've made your bed, now lie in it"
yes omg i love naps
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) May 10, 2015
2.
https://twitter.com/TheTumblrPosts/status/650067790146195457
3.
People say "go big or go home" as if going home is a bad thing? Like hell yeah I wanna go home, and I'm gonna take a nap when I get there.
— Devin Physique (@devinphysique) November 16, 2015
4.
Every morning when my alarm goes off, I think "This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 10, 2013
5.
outside of bed: cold, refrigerated pale dough
inside of bed: warm, flaky biscuit with beautiful melty slice of butter
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) October 6, 2014
6.
Naps, the original life hack:
1) Sad? There's a nap for that.
2) Tired? There's a nap for that.
3) Angry? There's a nap for that.— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) June 1, 2016
7.
Me: *wakes up*
Me: I need a nap— christian delgrosso (@christiand) May 30, 2016
8.
me: *doesnt sleep, is tired*
me: *sleeps a bit, is tired*
me: *sleeps average amount, is tired*
me: *sleeps a lot, is tired*
me: *is tired*— Girls (@GirlsBibIe) September 6, 2017
9.
If we ALL go back to bed, there's nothing they can do.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) November 4, 2013
10.
Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners
— 🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 (@WheelTod) March 27, 2015
11.
I’m up early and full of energy, but don’t worry. I am going to overcome this and stay in bed.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 24, 2018
12.
New sexual fantasy: He takes my hand, leads me to the bed, and says, in a throaty whisper, "I want you to nap for as long as you like."
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) October 18, 2015
13.
DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here
[earlier that morning]
ME: *trying to get up for work*— Hippo (@InternetHippo) September 2, 2015
14.
everyones out doing stuff Im just at home like pic.twitter.com/cwfVCdZHf3
— Girl Tweets (@comedyorjoke) September 6, 2015
15.
Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say "well, she was always kind of like this."
— slaughthie (@slaughthie) January 30, 2015
16.
*rolls out of bed*
*rolls into other strategically placed bed*
"Nice."— Slam Squat-Thrust (@Gre_Gone) June 11, 2014
17.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous.
— The Alicianater (@leechee420) January 31, 2014
18.
Prince Charming: I will awaken her with love's sweet ki–
Sleeping Beauty: five more minutes— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) May 27, 2015
19.
users guide to telling ppl ur late:
"walking now" = havent left yet
"on my way sry!" = im not coming
"sorry leaving now" = im going to sleep— jomny sun (@jonnysun) October 8, 2014
20.
rihanna: work work work work work
me: no i am tired actually
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) June 14, 2016