Each week I put my potential drinking problem to work for the fine fans of Pleated Jeans, polishing off an entire bottle of wine while scouring Twitter for some dank Tweets. Here is what was funny, at least at the time.
27.
me pretending to be productive pic.twitter.com/illsdaFS3H
— マーク (@donthoIdthewaII) January 24, 2018
26.
25.
https://twitter.com/CHEWTHISASSh_/status/955820947763638273?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fryanschocket2%2Feighteen-tweets-from-this-week-that-are-just-fuckin-funny
24.
23.
22. FYI, I will put this in every post until I have more followers than that talentless hack, FuckJerry.
Have I ever shamelessly promoted my Instagram account since a few days ago? https://t.co/GfbFm9XXxL pic.twitter.com/nfVlQ30meC
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) January 29, 2018
21.
NOPE pic.twitter.com/Pdtkry47uK
— Jason Gore (@sonicdork) January 24, 2018
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19.
18.
17.
[date]
me: so if u could change any part of your body what would it be?
her: *laughing* I guess my ankles. what about you?
me: well, u know the bit behind the knees?
*awkward silence*
me: *leans in closer* I'd love em to be as hairy as armpits
— John Darby (@mrjohndarby) January 24, 2018
16.
someone: you don’t have to apologize for everything, you’re good
me: oh ok……ˢᵒʳʳʸ
— k (@pugmom4evr) January 17, 2018
15.
Date: do you fold the toilet paper or crumple it
Me: I make an elaborate origami crane with each square
Date: uhhh
Me: well what the fuck kind of question is that for a date
— Kal (@captainkalvis) January 22, 2018
14.
i just invented a vape pen that mines crypto and now im a billionaire. so long suckers
— jon hendren (@fart) January 28, 2018
13.
12.
There is no better metaphor for being a woman right now than wanting a female president and getting a female fast-food chicken mascot
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) January 27, 2018
11.
What sector are you in? pic.twitter.com/wfnRFnpTM7
— obvious plant (@obviousplant_) January 23, 2018
10.
For you sir I would recommend one of our deluxe funeral plans where I won't dig you up and slap you around when I'm feeling mad at skeletons
— TWlTTER DOT COM SLASH PIXELATED BOAT (@pixelatedboat) August 13, 2015
9.
My level of petty. pic.twitter.com/oFjT5zqcJe
— Denizcan James (@MrFilmkritik) January 22, 2018
8.
BIRD TRUTH. pic.twitter.com/O43RtCbS6Q
— Chris Worthington (@SomeChrisTweets) January 28, 2018
7.
fucking finally pic.twitter.com/wQNaxN26XJ
— tony (@sadvil) January 23, 2018
6.
Every picture of the Backstreet Boys look like they’re at a party and just heard you have cocaine. pic.twitter.com/VhtML2rEcY
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) January 27, 2018
5.
I walk out of Target to the scene of a child laying motionless on the ground. I asked what was wrong and the dad said
“He’s upset his gloves match his jacket.” pic.twitter.com/hYMJRbZxkf
— a real dinosaur (@SparkyROAR) January 13, 2018
4.
ah this is the sickest burn pic.twitter.com/FOTAGauzQF
— jonathan frandzone (@notallbhas) January 27, 2018
3.
I’m in Seattle and there is currently a line to shop at the grocery store whose entire premise is that you won’t have to wait in line. pic.twitter.com/fWr80A0ZPV
— Ryan Petersen (@typesfast) January 22, 2018
2.
I been laughing at this video for 2 days now LMAOOOO pic.twitter.com/iRn8WPbncU
— No Feelings ! (@itsboyschapter) January 21, 2018