Funny

17 Bizarre Things That Prove We’re Living In A Simulation

Something weird has been happening in the past few years. People have noticed reality starting to sort of… slip? People started having memories of things that aren’t real or are slightly off, like that the Berenstain Bears books were originally the Bernstein Bears books. Or that Sinbad was in a movie where he played a genie. (Seriously, there are whole sites dedicated to stuff like this.) Then there was that string of dramatic and highly improbable incidents: Donald Trump won the election, the Chicago Cubs won their first World Series in over a century, the Atlanta Falcons blew a 25-point lead to lose to the New England Patriots in overtime in the Super Bowl. Then stuff just kinda got… weird.

Reality has become so unreal some prominent people think we may actually be living in a highly sophisticated simulation (kind of like the matrix but with fewer cyberpunks in black raincoats). Notably, futurist and Tesla-founder Elon Musk thinks it’s true. Neil deGrasse Tyson puts the odds we’re part of some elaborate simulation at around 50-50. Other people have latched on to the simulation theory, using to explain the continuing ~weirding~ of our reality. Anyway, it’s time to take a tour of our (new?) unreality!

1. Vanessa Hudgens had a lip synch battle against… a pork chop

2. DMX may have started an entire new religion

3. Camels are getting botox and Nancy Pelosi is gonna be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3

4. This car glitched right into a building

5. Japan has a new cryptocurrency pop group

6. Katy Perry has cryptocurrency nails

7. Cryptocurrency is getting out of hand in general

8. But if money is still real, then at least some people are getting rich off of it

9. News that teens were vaping Tide pods was the final straw for some people

10. Things are so weird no one even batted an eye at the news that aliens might be real

11. The first female Colonel Sanders is one of the most 2018 things to happen this year

12. Yep, things have gotten unebelievably weird

13. Every headline seems like an Onion headline

14. For example, WTF?

15. At least the simulation can be fun sometimes

16. Sometimes it’s like the simulation is trying to learn by giving us insane mashups

17. Sometimes the simulation churns out a gem based on our love of nostalgia

18. And sometimes it just repeats itself


WAKE UP SHEEPLE!