Noah Berman
Each week I put my potential drinking problem to work for the internet, polishing off an entire bottle of wine while scouring Twitter for some dank Tweets. This week, however, I replaced the wine with, I don’t know, 6 or 7 beers, and went all in on Super Bowl LII tweets. Here’s what was funny, at least at the time.
25.
Me: Football is a violent sport that exploits athletes and encourages their lasting physical harm all to profit evil wealthy owners
Also me: Destroy Tom Brady any way possible— maura "jack and biz must be nazis" quint (@behindyourback) February 4, 2018
24.
— bobby sportswear (@bobby) February 5, 2018
23.
Really pumped to see … [squints at photo] … Andy Warhol(?) make his NFL debut tonight pic.twitter.com/7A7szbJohC
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) February 4, 2018
22.
okay but why did #JustinTimberlake look like a clearance table at Bass Pro #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/DB1tlAMwJL
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 5, 2018
21.
"It's a dick in a box!" pic.twitter.com/IgO3SUnS8b
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 5, 2018
20.
My stance on Justin Timberlake has always been that he is a human wedding dance
— erin ryan (@morninggloria) February 5, 2018
19.
Glad The Rock is remaking my favorite movie pic.twitter.com/wCQd3R5DG7
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 5, 2018
18.
“I remember another guy they counted out. A guy named Donald Trump.” Pats halftime speech.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) February 5, 2018
17.
PATRIOTS LOCKER ROOM
Belichick: [slams door, kicks over laundry cart] GODDAMIT GUYS. IM GONNA KEEP THIS SHORT BECAUSE I NEED TO SEE MAN OF THE WOODS BUT WHAT TH
— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) February 5, 2018
16.
“I could’ve done a better halftime show,” I smugly think to myself, a man whose effort level is “brings paper towels to a party”
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) February 5, 2018
15.
Peter Dinklage and Morgan Freeman comin’ in like#SuperBowlLII pic.twitter.com/260FKhhIv8
— Sam Purcell (@Gingergrrl) February 5, 2018
14.
I didn’t know a single person could appropriate both black and white culture but here we have Justin Timberlake
— trump/america is imprisoning infants and children (@RheaButcher) February 5, 2018
13.
why does tom brady look like he's about to ask someone if they have the microfiche? pic.twitter.com/5orEyv6MFB
— Jake Currie (@jakecurrie) February 4, 2018
12.
OSCAR: So, will Philly freak out and burn everything they lose?
ME: Yes.
OSCAR: And if they win?
ME: Yes.
OSCAR: So…
ME: THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS NOT TO PLAY.— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) February 5, 2018
11.
Ummmm pic.twitter.com/jbppwpCcjP
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 5, 2018
10.
lets all agree that no matter who wins, each player should have to line up at the end and kiss tom brady on the lips
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) February 5, 2018
9.
How'd you find your religion? "Oh, I saw an ad on the Super Bowl."
— Sarah Tollemache (@stollemache) February 5, 2018
8.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 5, 2018
7.
If the Eagles win and Trump invites them to the White House I hope they go full Philly and shit in all the urns
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) February 5, 2018
6.
Gives me joy that the Trump son’s have to watch the Super Bowl knowing Tom Brady is the son thier dad actually wanted.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 4, 2018
5.
Eagles win. pic.twitter.com/qhLC7Lilr7
— colton dunn (@captdope) February 5, 2018
4.
.@jtimberlake Too soon. pic.twitter.com/POXn7R2l6c
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) February 5, 2018
3.
PRINCE IN HEAVEN pic.twitter.com/Vw3pAXxnb9
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 5, 2018
2.
Tom Brady’s gonna rage eat an extra almond tonight
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) February 5, 2018
1.
Prince halftime tribute was pretty cool… pic.twitter.com/YK2ZN8okYz
— Benstonium (@Benstonium) February 5, 2018