27 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Each week I put my potential drinking problem to work for the fine people of the Internet, polishing off an entire bottle of wine while scouring Twitter for some dank Tweets. Here is what was funny, at least at the time.
27.
The vending machine @ my laundromat is a sinner’s prayer pic.twitter.com/DCR6hf9oFL
— Signe Pierce (@sigggnasty) March 10, 2018
26.
25.
“on a scale of 1-10 how uncomfortable are you?” pic.twitter.com/VJ245NWP5g
— Skelly (@Skelly401) March 7, 2018
24.
1: The Great Pyramid
2: The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
3: The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
4: The Temple of Artemis
5: The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
6: The Colossus of Rhodes
7: The Lighthouse of Alexandria
8: pic.twitter.com/bpyQI04wWC— michael (@dogboner) March 10, 2018
23.
Wow, the poster for Death Wish is unusually blunt pic.twitter.com/unc60Ob93T
— pixelated boat [ASMR] binaural ~4 hours~ (@pixelatedboat) March 4, 2018
22.
Ok this is actually cool- For #SXSW Austin invested in these IRL-Delete-Pods. Basically you can put any unwanted items (candy wrapper, used napkin, etc…) in them, “deleting” the items. Don’t be surprised if you see these pop up in your own city. pic.twitter.com/xLAKwSStHL
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) March 11, 2018
21.
Me ollying up to our wedding pic.twitter.com/QnYReMzKjX
— Cassie Grimaldi (@CassieGrimaldi) November 3, 2017
20.
When threatened, the Pope can spray holy venom up to 25ft. pic.twitter.com/z5MZme66vU
— You Had One Job (@CutPics) March 1, 2018
19.
18.
my work here is done pic.twitter.com/olLcZCsDLK
— unc (@vrunt) March 7, 2018
17.
— Bad Place Janet (@corihealey) February 27, 2018
16.
i guess things haven’t been going so great for our pal bruce pic.twitter.com/2TIlNFnEuM
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 11, 2018
15.
I send this 3 page essay to my bf in a argument this is what he texts back 🙄😒 pic.twitter.com/rpUlXgXvMv
— Long Live T.reed❤️ (@XOashh_) March 4, 2018
14.
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) March 8, 2018
13.
It was my idea to call them enchiladas instead of “little wet burritos”
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) March 10, 2018
12.
Relationship status : this girl. pic.twitter.com/AODDC5sN4g
— Jacob Frye. (@Hamdttitude) March 10, 2018
11.
really down to only the most loyal advisers at this point pic.twitter.com/QMF6X5Tzcw
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 6, 2018
10.
9.
When you want to get in shape but hey no rush. pic.twitter.com/Hzyg9QZipd
— John Moe (@johnmoe) March 3, 2018
8.
Alexa, show me a picture of medieval ladies throwing foxes at one another in a broccoli field. pic.twitter.com/cMzhdChMcH
— Paul (@bingowings14) March 3, 2018
7.
How all my other clothes look at me when I leave the house again in one of my 2 standard outfits. pic.twitter.com/WaiK1NKehn
— YT: The Focus Group (@manlikekofii) March 9, 2018
6.
5.
4.
(uber)
me: right here is great
driver: but we're 6 miles from the-
me: RIGHT. HERE. IS. GREAT. pic.twitter.com/jfQkDb0shm— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) March 10, 2018
3.
when someone reminds me of plans i can’t cancel pic.twitter.com/x2obWc6dba
— Ziwe (@ziwe) March 11, 2018
2.
ME: *thirty episodes into a television show* wait a second I hate this fucking show
— WILL WELDON (0-32) (@oldmanweldon) March 10, 2018
1.
I like @SarahKSilverman pic.twitter.com/wPzAKhq2n2
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) March 11, 2018
