The problem with plans is that they’re rarely for the day you made them. How I feel about going out changes on a minute by minute basis. Also, I probably only agreed to hanging out because I have trouble saying no and want you to like me. So when I get that magical text from someone saying they have to cancel plans, the wave of relief that washes over me is so warm and rich you could spread it on toast. For all of my people out there who feel the same, these jokes are for you.
canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 13, 2018
Me reading your message previews from the pull down bar on my phone and not answering for the next 6 hours pic.twitter.com/F4FghFHPb7— Jojo🐝🇹🇹 (@jojo_ambitious1) February 28, 2018
Wow thank you so much for letting me host tonight pic.twitter.com/loJe1mcovS— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) February 16, 2018
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.— Probability The Rapper (@random_weighs) November 25, 2017
me: i wish i had friends:-/— kristen (@eatinfants) February 6, 2018
me: …..wtf that was weird anyways i wish i had friends
When you agreed to go out and the time to go out is getting closer pic.twitter.com/hefLJdoJds— i smoke big gas nigga fuckisyoutalkingbout deadass (@kevenchy_) October 10, 2017
when someone asks me why i can’t hang out pic.twitter.com/7o7yLsAY1I— Amber Discko (@amberdiscko) September 7, 2015
me: the world is such a wonderful place bro i just want to travel and go on adventures forever— one of ur hoes (@miliondollameat) February 13, 2017
also me: pic.twitter.com/6kLg4BOL3i
my parents, at 27: married, with a kid— Alex Manley (@alex_icon) August 24, 2016
me, at 27: i prefer ordering pizza Online so i don't have to ever interact with a human person
person: u should try to make more friends— one of ur hoes (@miliondollameat) February 2, 2017
Wyd tonight ?— . (@OalikaLovesLyn) January 22, 2017
Wyd Tomorrow ?
Why you not texting back ?
Me : pic.twitter.com/U3bpjJYEgI
the fact that i only have 2 friends usually doesn't bother me, but it definitely has some downfalls. you wanna go out, but both of ur friends wanna stay in? well guess what, ur a shit outta luck and staying in now too— eileen sorenson (@ileenbajo) March 2, 2018
when plans get cancelled and u gotta act sad but on the inside you're celebrating pic.twitter.com/FzGaSR93gt— FREDDY (@FreddyAmazin) August 22, 2016
“awww the plans canceled? I really wanted to go maybe next time…” pic.twitter.com/0CkdElV4CP— 𝖘𝖆𝖉 𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑 (@araslanian_) March 4, 2018
"This is a mistake"— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) March 21, 2014
-I whisper as I leave my house
me looking @ the 0 notifications im receiving cause i've isolated myself & ruined all my relationships with my friends, family, and partners pic.twitter.com/s1wVV8Sh1v— god's lil friend (@junieboony) March 12, 2017
*takes a deep breath, smiles*— Daniel 🤷🏻♂️ Strauss (@danielstrauss) January 13, 2016
"what a beautiful morning to pretend to read tweets in an effort to avoid any semblance of human interaction"
Introvert probz pic.twitter.com/vh9D3MyfT9— gianna (@gee_face) January 11, 2016
Co-Worker: Plans this weekend?— Jes (@AtomicJes) December 26, 2015
Me: Video games and Reading.
Co-Worker: Wanna do something?
Me: I just told you, I have plans.#introvertlife
Introvert at a party starter pack pic.twitter.com/uA4yFzg2DL— Chris Heilmann (@codepo8) September 11, 2015
Dinner plans: $20— Introvert Life (@IntrovertLiving) August 4, 2015
Night at the bar: $30
Canceling all the above plans before they ever happen: priceless
I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was two hours ago. I was younger then, and full of hope.— Marly ❄️❄️❄️❄️ (@VerbsRProudest) October 3, 2014
FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) February 10, 2016
ME: generic excuse
FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"
Please don't answer the phone when I call you. I just want to leave a message and make the next contact your responsibility— elan gale (@theyearofelan) May 12, 2015