Mike
There are a lot of great folks on Twitter, and @Kendragraden is one of those folks. I’ve been following her for years and I’ve never been disappointed. She covers all of the main topics. Booze, dogs, and existential dread. I mean, what else is there?
I hope you’ll join me in celebrating Kendra, and giving her a follow. You won’t regret it.
15.
I have resting 'I read the news' face.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) April 28, 2017
14.
Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) November 5, 2012
13.
Sorry I'm late, I'm not coming.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) April 10, 2013
12.
Kids, the 90s were great. There were free postcards in coffee shops & free drugs in clubs & no one took a photo of anything ever.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) March 6, 2015
11.
I'll be there at 9ish, heavy on the ish, know what I'm saying?? Yeah, I'm not coming.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 18, 2014
10.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) February 22, 2016
9.
Every so often I'll think, Pretty cool how you're reading my mind, just in case someone's reading my mind.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) September 27, 2013
8.
I don’t remember ever listening to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” on purpose and yet I know all the lyrics. This is what happens. This is how they get you.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 3, 2017
7.
One of my 4 nephews just brought me wine and said, "Here's your Christmas juice," and now he's the one I'm leaving everything to.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 25, 2015
6.
(Explaining 2017 to future generations) You know that feeling when there’s bad turbulence on the plane and you want to scream but you act like you’re all chill? It was that. For a year.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 24, 2017
5.
Instead of going to Coachella this year, I'm going to braid feathers in my hair and listen to my iPod in a port-a-potty.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 25, 2013
4.
One time my dog found an entire hotdog with the bun and everything in a bush so now he sticks his head in there every time we pass. I would kill for that level of optimism.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 23, 2018
3.
"I didn't sleep much last night," I said as if anyone cares or sleeps anymore.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) March 31, 2017
2.
Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 31, 2013
1.
Norwegians use ‘Texas’ as slang for ‘crazy’ which makes sense because Texans use 'bless your heart' as slang for 'I'm planning your murder.'
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) October 21, 2015