Mike
I’ve been on twitter for about 6 years now, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to find hilarious jokes for this list every week. You’d think I’d run out at some point, but nope. Twitter is a bottomless well of jokes (and lots of other not so great stuff lately) but mostly jokes, and it is my absolute pleasure to bring you this list every week. I assure you it is as much fun for me to make as it is for you to read. So thank you for continuing to visit this, because it means I get to continue putting it together. Please enjoy this week’s roundup, and always remember: retweets mean everything.
1.
I’ve had enough pic.twitter.com/ih7SUMLwJ2
— jake (@jakezscott_) July 4, 2018
2.
https://twitter.com/TraeGilley/status/1014942963800166400
3.
Favorite new thing:
Scratching haunting things into bananas at the market so when people take them home hours later and the words appear they think a ghost knows their secrets. pic.twitter.com/aDOMd3K8cX
— kevinbiegel (@kbiegel) July 5, 2018
4.
poured one up RIP duke pic.twitter.com/90bYry0VhR
— yea (@kvrxs) July 4, 2018
5.
when it’s summer but you have depression pic.twitter.com/bmQUGqUBa4
— KT (@katiexdrink) July 4, 2018
6.
https://twitter.com/sophsa/status/1014196520730624000
7.
me: interested in how the sun shines in our new apartment
boyfriend: pic.twitter.com/lGBNgNEbpl
— Colleen Wright (@Colleen_Wright) June 29, 2018
8.
https://twitter.com/honzogonzo/status/1013795871799029762
9.
https://twitter.com/elenughh/status/1011546296778289152
10.
https://twitter.com/PEACHYBLACKG0RL/status/1013261511119265792
11.
11yo: Let's go out and buy notebooks.
Me: Didn't I just buy you a notebook?
11yo: Yes.
Me: So.
11yo: I don't physically need a new notebook. I emotionally need a new notebook.— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) June 24, 2018
12.
"What should I write on this sign for avocados?"
"Just make something up." pic.twitter.com/R28fbR4VwB
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) July 20, 2015