38 People Who Absolutely Won’t Be Getting Into Heaven
As the loving creator of all humanity, it saddens me deeply to see my children stray so far from my good and perfect light.
Nevertheless, I am a God who demands justice, and part of demanding justice means casting out people who have done terrible things. People like…
38. The person who ruined this perfectly innocent Tumblr post.
37. This family who hath made unto themselves an idol that is an abomination to the Lord.
36. This young man, who has given into the lusts of the flesh Home Depot lightning section.
35. Whoever made this Tumblr.
34. This poor, damned soul…
33. …and this one as well.
32. This persona, who hath caused me never to be able to eat Capin’ Crunch again.
31. This degenerate gamer.
30. These people, who mock the sanctity of marriage.
29. The person who made this comment.
28. While I almost consider having to live with this tattoo punishment enough, again, I am a just God who must punish the wicked.
27. This pervert.
26. This French person, who for whatever reason, gave Kirby feet.
Et si en fait c’était ses pantoufles, à #Kirby… pic.twitter.com/CLz24x8n7i
— Marie Blue (@MarieBlue05) March 17, 2017
25. These people.
Only white people, man pic.twitter.com/7oPBkoQ23v
— Huey Freeman (@maxwelljamal4) May 30, 2014
24. This Tumblr user.
23. Everyone involved in this…
22. And this.
21. This guy and his mullet-fedora-dreadlocks combo break literally all of my commandments at once.
20. This impure adolescent.
19. This sinner.
18. Everyone in this family.
17. Everyone in this thread.
16. This asshole.
15. This ‘It’ fan.
14. Whoever this is, I honestly don’t remember creating such an abomination.
13. Both of these people.
12. The person who has been having impure thoughts about Tarzan.
11. Anyone who was involved in this in any way.
10. This One Direction fan.
9. Whoever drew this.
8. This damned soul.
7. This woman barely deserves to be in the presence of the Devil, let alone God.
6. Whoever corrupted these young souls (and these young souls while we’re are it.)
5. The inventor of this.
4. Whoever thought these were a good idea.
3. Whoever did this.
2. This harlot.
1. This woman, who hath made the #TBT an abomination.
