Aimée
If you’ve dated, you’ve been on a terrible date. Maybe lots of terrible dates. Now search your mind for the very worst one, and see if it matches up with any of the godawful date stories solicited by Twitter user @_ItsMissBre. She has just over 6,000 followers, but everyone wants to respond to her right now. They have some stuff to get off their chest.
@_ItsMissBre asked the Ladies to tell her their worst date. Plenty of dudes responded, too of course. They never hold back. What’s surprising is how many of these awful date stories are actually pretty funny in retrospect.
Ladies: tell me your worst date.
— A Tribe Called Breast (@_ItsMissBre) August 23, 2018
You need a little distance to appreciate someone being a total ding-dong and wasting your time and energy and maybe even peeing in front of you in a parking lot (yeah, that happened). Terrible dates at least usually end up as good stories. Read these and be glad you’re on the Internet and not at an Applebee’s with some Tinder guy right now.
31.
He picked me up (late) for movie, tried to get out of seeing it the whole time, he drives like a maniac WHILE SMOKING WEED, we get there he admits he spent all his money on drugs, asks if we can do something free. HELL NO take me home lmao ur boring anyway https://t.co/hpEDLISzFd
— Brooke Teston (@TheRealBrookeT) August 29, 2018
30.
Kept me waiting for like 3hrs and then had the AUDACITY to ask me to pay for his taxi so that he could come meet me 😊😊😊 https://t.co/Bh022lzc5P
— Bríana (@BrianaLee_) August 29, 2018
29.
He very seriously and soberly told me that he wanted a stay-at-home wife who would make him bento boxes for lunch every day and give him two children, a boy and then a girl. We were both seventeen. https://t.co/pVf51NfaaU
— Jenn (@quicksparrows) August 29, 2018
28.
Back in uni – We were meeting for dinner at a casual restaurant (Pei Wei) so I showed up in jeans and a cute top + jacket combo. He criticized the fact that I did not wear a dress. “Women wear dresses.” Didn’t let it go and asked for a do-over date so I’d wear a dress. No way! 🤮 https://t.co/BV2UYQjvia
— Krystina Santoyo (@KrysMarie103) August 29, 2018
27.
I went on a date with a white guy who, towards the end of the date, said he was glad colonialism happened bc without it we never would have met each other. https://t.co/tQmReBIXuo
— Good Form 👑🍩 (@VanillaIsBlaque) August 27, 2018
26.
Planned this incredibly romantic *third* date with a table for two at an exclusive Beverly Hills restaurant. She asked if we could skip dessert because she had to go meet her boyfriend at 10:30 downtown. https://t.co/e7kUGKJuYZ
— Stephanie of the Tweets (@AgentTinsley) August 29, 2018
25.
He said “I’m having sex with you.”
I said “No, thank you.”
He yelled in the bar “She just farted!” https://t.co/ul636mIcr0— Beatrice (@beatricetalmage) August 29, 2018
24.
First Date: he took me home and we cooked/ate dinner with his mom and dad. https://t.co/jXBhnc2NOF
— Kara McDowell (@karajmcdowell) August 28, 2018
23.
A guy spent all of dinner telling me about his ex-girlfriends and how after each break-up he had to move out of their place and move back home. Then he asked how big my apartment was. https://t.co/XgbDwzzHhO
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 27, 2018
22.
I met him on a dating site. He showed me all of the girls that was talking to him. He kept talking about his ex. How much she messed him up. He was on his phone all through the date. Then he told me that he had to leave, because he had another date. https://t.co/wQxTvM8Irf
— Amanda (@AlienChick47) August 29, 2018
21.
The guy said he forgot his wallet at home, so I paid. Then he said I tipped too much, so he took some of the tip for himself.😂👏 https://t.co/nXGYmLsxeE
— SOL KERZNER (@__Qaqamba) August 26, 2018
20.
went to see a movie w a dude who was 21 I think, when I was 16. 2 separate times he looks me dead in the eyes and says “u have very nice teeth” and it really unsettled me and i never spoke to him again 😂 https://t.co/CDfXxcCw0o
— mordenkaizer ☆ (@vadereloha) August 28, 2018
19.
He insisted on taking me to a fancy restaurant in the city, I told him no because it was too expensive and I needed to save my money because I was going to Asia the next week. He said it would be on him. When the bill comes all of his cards get declined and I had to pay (1/2) https://t.co/6CK08OMbZj
— mid chunky salsa (@Ceciliaax) August 29, 2018
He swore up and down he was going to venmo me because he knew I needed it. I never got my money, I guess he needed it more because shortly after, he got his ex pregnant
— mid chunky salsa (@Ceciliaax) August 29, 2018
18.
I went on a date with a guy who took my picture without me knowing then posted the picture letting everyone know I was his new girlfriend on his facebook meme page https://t.co/67CvOgLsIg
— Emma (@EmmaLuCr) August 29, 2018
17.
Took me to a beer garden, asked if I liked cider then proceeded to unload a can from one of his socks for me, and another for himself https://t.co/mdbep5BQ7S
— Kiss Me Kate (@KatieBurnett) August 29, 2018
16.
I went to meet up with my boyfriend when he came home on leave. Before that I’d been out with my family at this sketchy pizza place that made my stomach feel weird.
We had 10 minutes together before I threw up in my bathroom… and missed the toilet.. https://t.co/rItVHhmWiz
— TreNesha (@QueenOfTheMM) August 29, 2018
15.
I went out with a guy who started the date by telling me he hated the office and ended the date offering me cocaine. https://t.co/C1iLhP83lz
— Don’t forget to go when you leave. (@likeagoodNEEbor) August 29, 2018
14.
We went to see Miami Vice in theaters. He spent the whole movie ranting about how inaccurate the guns were. https://t.co/xdAnOQm9TX
— Sofonisbe 🥑 (@Sofonisbe) August 29, 2018
13.
him and his friend picked me up in a huge truck (friend was driving), the driver asked me if i wanted to do shots with him, went 110km/hr while chain smoking cigarettes, they stopped to steal a bike, and told me about the time they did an armed robbery on a weed dispensary
— spooky yellow (@yuliareingold) August 24, 2018
12.
Worst pre-date: asked me if I liked heels and when I said yes, asked if I would wear them to our date along with high waisted jeans, full face of makeup, and lipgloss like “he likes”. And followed up with “are you gonna look good for me?” and let me “feel you up a little”. 😐
— King Nina (@SkyLikeSin) August 24, 2018
11.
Went on a date to see Mariah Carey w a dude who talked the entire time and tried to scam better seats he didn’t pay for. On the way to the car, he dumped a bunch of trash on the ground and proceeded to pee on it. Worst date in my entire life!
— Adrienne (@OK_Adrienne) August 24, 2018
10.
Met via an online dating site. He corresponded with me daily for weeks and seemed pretty interested. Invited me to hang out, and it actually turned out to be a MLM recruitment meeting.
— Kenya D. (@Kenya_D) August 23, 2018
9.
I went on a blind double date .. we went to the movies and the guy got mad at the young ppl in the back making a lot of noise and he got up and said DASSIT LETS GO NIGGA! And got into a fight and I just slid out and left. 😑
— ♌️Kirsten Baptiste♊️ (@misscuttinup) August 24, 2018
8.
We were supposed to go out but FIRST he needed me to give him a ride to help his friend “move out” and ended up robbing the place.
— Jay Vee. (@sloppyjessjoe) August 24, 2018
7.
Shows up with a friend who is dressed like Michael Jackson. On our way to the car, the friend drops a bottle & a shard of glass pops into my date’s 👁. Cut to the ER..me & the friend are in the waiting room, it’s packed! He gets up & proceeds to put on a full concert of MJ tunes
— MrsBundrige (@bigsisternes) August 25, 2018
Girl when I tell you that I would’ve loved to see the look on my face when that negro got up, moved the table from the center of the waiting room and kicked up his leg and let out a “He he he”!!!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂
— MrsBundrige (@bigsisternes) August 25, 2018
6.
Met a guy at Starbucks. About 5 minutes in, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place & pee on him. I burst out laughing. He got mad & left. I’m not one to kink shame, but prior to that we had not discussed anything remotely sexual.
— petpony (@petponygirl) August 25, 2018
5.
he accidentally texted me something along the lines of “sorry babe church going late” then had the nerve to say he meant to send it to his sister.
— Pay Me In Equity (@BlackintheB) August 24, 2018
4.
We drove to a restaurant and before we got out the car his phone rang and he answered it on his car bluetooth. It was another woman saying that she was in town and wanted to meet up with him. He followed up with “yea I definitely want to bust you down” while I am in the damn car!
— Black & Wild🔥 (@bluntfairytale) August 24, 2018
3.
I ended up having to pay the whole tab (cause he forgot his card 🙄) & drive ok no problem then during the movie his girlfriend found my IG & DMed me telling me how they been dating for 3 years & he always does things like this
— savage17💔 (@Taracita_) August 24, 2018
2.
He kissed me (terribly) mid-sentence while I was I talking about my mom being in the hospital
— Fête du Juliet (@fetedujuliet) August 25, 2018
1.
He asked me how many kids I wanted, cut up a fruit roll-up and called it dessert, and took out his fake front teeth before he tried to kiss me. Wish I was kidding.
— kurtvilentines (@brosaleigh) August 25, 2018
Ah, solitude is sweet.