Noah Berman
Most of us in our adult lives have at least one or two or three periods during which we are single. Like everything else in life, being on your own has its ups and its down. Sure, you crave human attention and affection, but you can also do whatever the hell you want! At all times!
1.
Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2016
2.
me: I want a relationship!!
someone: hi I’d like a relationship with you
me: pic.twitter.com/SyM41Z6COi— king of the pumpkin patch (@kala5000) February 7, 2017
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7.
When people ask why I’m single pic.twitter.com/ioJSIHOvyB
— Cam Salamone (@whamitscam) September 17, 2016
8.
When a friend asks me when was the last time I got laid pic.twitter.com/MozkY2tERT
— Tsume (@TsumeAlphaWolf) February 23, 2016
9.
ME: im sick of being single
FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone?
ME: absolutely not, i’d have to put on pants & talk. no thank u— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) November 19, 2015
10.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012
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12.
I’m single by choice…of others.
— courtney (@ocourtneyno) August 27, 2012
13.
You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
— Angie Davis ❤️’s peen (@AngieDavisHaha) January 31, 2014
14.
[me as a DJ]
Where my single ladies at?
*drunk responses*
This one’s for you
*turns off music, serious tone*
This is a bad place to meet men— Jebby (@Jennuflect) September 18, 2015
15.
Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.
— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) January 1, 2016
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Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don’t want to share their pizza with anyone.
— Reczit (@reczit) December 19, 2015
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20.
*sees friend at party arguing on the phone with their significant other*
me and my single self: “You good?” pic.twitter.com/YNmWs37tfI
— Christian (@killaxchristian) November 8, 2015
21.
Her: are you single?
[flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek]
Me: haha idk— Hitmonjake (@jakelikesnaps) August 5, 2014
22.
Someone asked me if I’m ever scared that I’ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) December 7, 2014
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