Masha
We’ve all got insecurities. Sure, we tell ourselves they are unnecessary and self-defeating (and they are!), but still, we have them.
Though the conversation surrounding female standards and expectations is a frequent one amongst the woke, it isn’t as common when it comes to men.
Now, whether this is due to the fact that men talk about their insecurities less, or because our society perpetuates the myth that “strength” in all forms equals “masculinity,” is hard to say. I’m no sociologist.
What I do know is that men can be just as insecure as women. A question posted by Reddit user u/am3ricanpsycho just over a week ago posed the question, “Ladies: What insecurities do you often see in men that women couldn’t care less about?”
The answers were enlightening. And heartening, at least for many of the men reading the thread.
An important aside to never forget: Don’t be insecure about ANYTHING. Be yourself, be honest, be proud, and find someone who likes you. That’s the ballgame.
17. Having a dad bod:
I’ve noticed that multiple guys I have dated will flex their biceps when I grab hold of their arm on a walk. Or suck in their tummy, like, it’s not super important. I like muscles as much as the next girl, but dad bods are a-okay in my book too.
16. Lack of sexual experience.
As long as you’re kind, eager, and willing to learn, you’re already doing better in bed than a dude who thinks he has it all figured out and doesn’t bother to listen to his partner and assumes he already knows what she’ll like.
Confirmed:
Exact situation I’m in. Worried word will get around that it was my “first time”. I’ve always been nervous about it but now it’s extrapolated because I’m older so now it’s “fuck I’m too old and everyone knows what they’re doing”.
I’ve actually avoided potential encounters at bars and stuff because I think ” this girl is gonna be pissed and/or tell mutual friends about it if she finds out”.
I feel like a girl looking for a one night stand would just get pissed if she found out the guy she picked was inexperienced.
15. Looking too skinny.
I’m into really skinny guys and the majority of guys I’ve been with have made comments about hating their bodies and how skinny they are. I’ve never really understood because I think they look great! But i guess there is a stereotype of guys being big and buff and stuff?
14. Size in general. Also facial hair.
The need to be really muscly, or the obsession with growing lots of facial hair.
Confirmed:
Not being able to grow a beard/mustache. Honestly who cares? But I’ve known so many guys that feel insecure because they’re not “hairy enough”.
Double confirmed:
Hairy guy here. Can confirm. Head to toe, there’s not really a part of my body that doesnt have some hair. The only plus side of being as hairy as me is I can grow full facial hair pretty quickly but it also means I’m shaving every damn day.
13. Needing to be the best at everything:
Being the best. Smartest, toughest, funniest. It’s better to be individual with your niche interests, looks, sense of humour rather than try to be the brightest.
Also, it’s more attractive to acknowledge the success of your friends than to talk about their short comings.
12. Hair greying or loss:
Grey hair. My boyfriend is 26 and has a head full of salt and pepper. I absolutely love it, but he reeeeeaaaalllly doesn’t. I think it adds sophistication to his look, he thinks it means he’ll be bald soon.
11. General physical insecurities:
my boyfriend is self conscious of his hairline, his teeth, and his height. none of these things have ever bothered me. we all have insecurities. he sees mine (my acne, my bumpy nose) and still loves me. I wouldn’t love him if I didn’t love ALL of him.
10. Doing anything that could even remotely be classified as “feminine.”
Hard one to put into words, but doing anything that isn’t “masculine”. Like I took my boyfriend to Lush with me once and he was too nervous to show interest in things because apparently self care makes you look “gay.”
I could tell he wanted to try this face wash though so I bought it next time I went and left it in his shower, never seen him smile so hard in my life. He’s definitely come out of his shell more since we got together but I can tell that there’s still that “what if this makes me a pussy” voice in his head.
9. Penis size:
Penis size!
8. Or revealing their penis when flaccid:
Letting their flaccid peens be seen
7. Making sounds during the act.
May be buried but I’ve noticed a lot of guys are self conscious about moaning during sex. Honestly, it turns me on a lot more to know that you’re enjoying it just as much as me.
Confirmed:
Yes. PLEASE. Make some noise. Give me some feedback. I’m secretly insecure that you’re not enjoying yourself so please give me some indication that you’re not just laying back and thinking of England.
6. Similarly:
Not lasting long enough in bed.
Porn makes people believe sex needs to be hours long to be enjoyable. I don’t agree. Foreplay should be long enough for both parties to be turned on and then sex till both people cum. That’s it.
It’s about quality not quantity. Id rather have 10 minutes of fun sex than 40 mins of forced sex
EDIT: To clarify I mean 10 minutes including foreplay and everything. Not 10 minutes of penetration.
I also am not saying this is for everyone. I am simply talking about me and my preferences. Some girls need longer foreplay, some girls like it quick. It all depends on the individual.
Con!Firmed!
I think the faster a guy cums, the hotter. I feel like I’m just so irresistible that he can’t hold back
5. Shedding a tear every now and again.
Crying- It’s healthy and normal.
Edit: Obviously, if you personally don’t often feel the urge to cry that’s fine. Women just understand if you do.
4. Making less money.
Their salaries being lower than mine. I honestly couldn’t care less as long as you are working.
3. Being a “nerd.”
Being a nerd or a geek. A ton of guys are proud of it but to the few that aren’t: the right girl will love your passions and whatnot
Confirmed:
I’ve always been embarrassed about how much I enjoy playing games. I think what bothers me is there is a stigma a lot of guys have created about people who are heavily into games lacking social skills or being super judgmental towards women who play.
And that it’s an utterly useless passion which doesn’t translate at all into a useful skill. It’s like someone who is super into books or movies, except there is at least some prestige found in books and movies. There’s none in games, just a kid who never grew up.
2. Having to pay for dinner, always.
Having to foot the bill on dates. Split it or I’ll grab the next one. No biggie.
Confirmed:
Just to provide some perspective on this. I have no problem splitting or taking turns on the bill. Just please tell me up front and consistently. I consider date nights to be entertainment spending.
I wouldn’t have set up or agreed to the date if I was worried about the cost. I am worried about coming across as cheap.
Yeah, I prefer women who believe in pragmatic or non-traditional gender roles, but if I’m otherwise crazy about a girl who prefers to keep it old school, I’m not going to risk my chances of a second date over the cost of dinner and drinks.
If the bill comes and we haven’t discussed who is paying or if she’s shown any kind of hesitance, I’ll pay the bill. Happily.
1. Being “too” short:
Your height. I don’t care unless you’re below my shoulders. If you complain about how you can’t get girls due to your height, that’s fine, but doing it every day to the girl you actually like to gain some sort of sympathy will deplete any chances you had in the first place. Please, be confident.