It’s a universal truth that no one likes being rejected. No matter who you’re rejected by or when you’re rejected, being turned down sometimes hurts.
But, the how you’re rejected part sometimes can matter–as in, some rejections are more painful and embarrassing than others. Some leave you with some pretty deep emotional scars that will travel with you for, well, a while. Twitter user @captainkalvis asked followers to share their funniest rejection story–which, was probably traumatic at the time. He even shared his own, which, is laughable now, but was probably awful when it first happened.
tell me your funniest rejection story. I'll start. One time I was at a bar and two girls motioned for me to come talk to them. When I walked over, they said "are you European" and my drunk ass just yelled "IOWA". They said "ew" and walked off.
— Kal (@captainkalvis) September 16, 2018
Boy, did people deliver…
one time this guy on tinder messaged me that he was also 6 ft tall and I didnt know what to say so I was like “sick! together we’re 2.58 danny devitos” and then he unmatched
— lils (@LilyArnpriester) September 16, 2018
One time i was chatting with a guy who's friend i was attracted to and so he called his friend over and i told him i thought he was cute and he laughed "thanks" and turned and walked away
— honey badger (@helenabadger) September 16, 2018
I was hooking up with this dude on the reg and was sitting between his legs watching TV one day. He said "I don't know what to do about this crushy thing" and I said "I have a crush on you too" and he said "oh god no. I meant you're crushing my testicles right now"
— WithoutIf (@withoutif) September 16, 2018
and the worst part is I actually did take their empty bottles back to the bar for them
— gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) September 16, 2018
a group of football players walked into the bar my friends and I were at, one pointed at us and made a gesture like “should we talk to them?” and his friend laughed and said “NAH”
— bailey (@doyalikebaileys) September 16, 2018
One time I took a girl out in my class on a date (I know not a rejection story yet hang with me). We are eating dinner then a movie then I drove her back to the dorms. Once we see back I said "I would like to do this again" she said "no I just wanted a free night out"
— OldManWill (@RohlederWill) September 17, 2018
one time a girl made out with me so hard my nose started bleeding, and it was so dark I thought i thought it was snot or something. she stopped and was like "is that spit" and i just said "i don't know".
— Shen the Bird (@Shen_the_Bird) September 16, 2018
Reading Romeo & Juliet in class and my teacher asked if we believe in love at first sight. A boy who told me he was in love with me in 3rd grade raises his hand and says “no bc i used to be in love with this girl in 3rd grade and now she’s kinda eh”
— Meg Oldham (@mho1997) September 17, 2018
I was at an international performing arts festival, I was trying to prove to my friends that it is easy to make friends from other countries. I started talking to the group of Canadians, when I tried to sing “Oh Canada” to impress them, they all got up at once and left.
— Blair Hogan (@HairBlogan) September 16, 2018
Once I really liked a coworker at a grocery store I worked at that was a few years older than me. With my I’m ~almost~ 21 confidence I would flirt w/ him on breaks, till he eventually set his hand on my shoulder and said “I don’t date younger women. I’d feel like your dad.”
— Jillian Coy (@still_ill_jill) September 16, 2018
idk if this technically counts as rejection but i once met a girl at a day long convention and hit it off but didn't ask for her number bc she lived far away, but when we said goodbye she actually offered it herself so i took it and when i texted the number later it was wrong
— nate (@njbut04) September 16, 2018
More of a WTF than a funny one, but one time a girl asked me out and instead of meeting where we'd agreed, she'd just drive by to see if I was there so she could go "ha ha, he actually showed up" to her friends.
— H van Dijk (@haraldvdijk) September 16, 2018
I once started a conversation with a girl over our love for Zelda. I walked away when I found out she hated cinnamon. A year ago she had a Zelda-themed bachelorette party for her wedding where she married a dude she met the SAME night I walked away from her….
— Mousa △⃒⃘ (@TFCGeorge) September 16, 2018
lol one time i asked a girl out and after an extremely awkward "no", i realized we already booked the same 15 hour flight. sitting right next to each other. i make bad decisions.
— mordecai (@onetruemordy) September 16, 2018
I said “will you go to homecoming with me” and she said “that was blunt” before walking away and to this day I wonder how tf else you’re supposed to ask
— Kay (@itsshortforkay) September 17, 2018
One time I was making out with a dude and he went to take off my extremely stretchy pants but they got caught on my foot and sort of ended up slingshotting my foot into his face. He stopped, put on his shoes, and left, abandoning the rest of his clothing here.
— Count Zoloft (@animeweedfart69) September 17, 2018
One time I thought this group of guys was watching me dance at the bar and I was like “damn Kyla you really DO have the moves like jagger” and then like 3 songs in I realized I had a 4 foot long hunk of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe. This has happened twice now.
— Lyle, the Poutine Princess (@lylelaun) September 17, 2018
A guy stood for me up for a date. The next day I called and asked him why the fuck and he said, “ya know… I just didn’t feel like it. We can try again tonight. Maybe I’ll feel like it.”
— Shanna Merceron (@storiesbyshanna) September 17, 2018
I had a boyfriend dump me via Facebook while we were both sat alone together in his bedroom lol
— Loz🦋 (@Xo_Lozzy_oX) September 17, 2018
not really funny perse but one time i told this dude i liked him and he asked/yelled "WHERE'S THE TOILET", fake threw up, and walked away. i started laughing bc i felt so awkward
— stan dodger (@disasterbucky) September 17, 2018