15 Discontinued Products We Should All Be Demanding Back In Our Lives

I miss Hi-C Ecto Cooler. Even though it was a limited time product, and represented a tiny part of my childhood, I think about it often. Now it’s lost to time. Today’s generation will never know the haunting green tint of this sweet elixir that also tasted faintly of medicine and car keys. This is a shame.

Most of us at one point in time fell in love with some odd product dreamed up by an ad executive desperate to keep their job, and while it is passed by millions of people unnoticed, you consumed it regularly, only to find out soon after it was discontinued. I know this heartbreak. So, let us reminisce on the memory of our fallen obsessions, and remember a better time.

15. Sprite Re-Mix

I drank quite a bit of Sprite as a kid, and this was one of their best products. The only thing they did that I loved more was when they had the Sprite NBA promotion and you could win free gear. I had one of those break-away Sprite warmup jumpsuits I wore way more often than I’m proud of.

14. Swoops

Kind of like Pringles, but better. Just don’t leave a pack out in the sun, otherwise you’ll be eating a big old melty brick. Actually that was also good.

13. Altoids Sours

reddit

Altoids Sours were amazing. I mean, sure if you ate more than 4 they’d cut your tongue into ribbons and everything after that would just taste like blood, but IMHO it was totally worth it.

12. Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets

reddit

I love Wendy’s. Their discount menu is the best in the business, but for some reason unknown to me, they discontinued what was easily their best product. Those spicy nuggets were absolutely magical. The spices they used made it so you had no idea you were eating what was probably deep fired earlobe meat.

11. Cereal Straws

Kids today will never know the joy of our sugar soaked breakfasts. But then again they also won’t have our diabetes.

10. Coke w/ Lime

reddit

Although, you can still get this at those soda dispensers at fast food places, I miss being about to buy one of these in the store. Was there ever a more refreshing drink?

9. Pudding Pops

reddit

God I loved these. Now the brand is forever ruined. Thanks a lot, Bill Cosby.

8. Clearly Canadian

reddit

My fondest memory of these was when my mom tried to give up soda to lose weight and switched to these, which I don’t even think is much better, but I’d steal them all the same. Pretty sure you can only find these at Cost Plus World Market now.

7. Taco Bell Volcano Tacos

That sauce. Mmmmm that sauce. Always worth the diarrhea.

6. Creme Savers

reddit

Like Life Savers, with creme. The product no one asked for but I desperately want back. These finally got my grandma to stock her candy dish with something other than those little strawberry candies that everyone’s grandma had.

5. Butterfinger BB’s

When was 10 I’d buy anything the Simpsons were selling. I didn’t really like butterfingers but these were the perfect ratio of chocolate to crunch. Also why I had a cavity in every tooth.

4. Snapple Elements

reddit

There was a time not so long ago when Snapple was taking over the beverage landscape. I was a big fan of Summer Peach myself. The short-lived run of Snapple Elements was just as good, and I believe there are still folks out there petitioning to get it back.

3. Planters Cheez Balls

reddit

Before there were TVs in the back of every minivan, my mom would give me a tub of these on road trips to keep me quiet. I’d contently shovel fists full of these into my mouth while adorning the backseat with tiny orange handprints.

2. Fruitopia

reddit

Just kidding. No one misses Fruitopia. If fruit had buttholes, they’d taste like this.

1. Ecto Cooler

reddit

The highlight of my childhood. No matter what horrible thing was happening at school, I knew it would be okay if I could just make it to lunchtime. Not sure what the other 90% was other than juice, but I also don’t care. RIP Ecto Cooler.

Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome