Lex
It is traditional for men to propose. But just because this is the “traditional” way of doing things, it doesn’t mean it is the “right” way, or that any other ways are bad or wrong or whatever.
In fact, in a recent AskReddit thread, u/PaterkStur posed the question, “Men who have been proposed to by their girlfriends, how did you feel about it?” and to be honest, it was lovely to see how few men (none, that I could find?) felt “emasculated” by a proposal for a woman.
17. Flattered:
It was an incredible surprise and one of the happiest moments of my life, I have no regrets about it because it’s a really fun story to tell.
I was just getting ready for work one day and she comes over for breakfast which I thought was slightly unusual but I wasn’t complaining, she asked if we could go outside for minute so we went out and talked and watched the sunrise for a bit and she just got down on one knee and asked me to marry, I couldn’t help but say yes. Probably not super thrilling but I think it’s really cute.
16. Still waiting…
My gf walked up behind me while I was cooking, hugged me, and said “What would you say if I asked you to marry me?”
I said “I’d probably say yes” We’ve been married 22 years and Im still waiting for her to actually propose…
15. Humbled:
It was humbling. She had a learning disability and wrote, and then read out loud her proposal. She was terrified of blowing it, and it was the most important moment in her life.
We were both in our forties, and I was blown away because after being with her for seven years, I didn’t know how important it was to her. We’re in our sixties now. Still humbled.
14. Vindicated:
Pretty good about it I guess because I said yes. Even better now because 20 years or so later I get to say “hey this was YOUR idea.”
13. Simple:
We were sitting on the back porch of his house on the big patio two person seat thing, and his head was in my lap.
Me: You know what we should do?
Him: What? Me: We should get married.
Him: Yep. Yep, we should. And a year later we did.
12. Confused, but ultimately happy:
It was a confusing set of emotions. We had been together for awhile and I knew I was ready. When she decided she was ready, she thought it was silly to hint around tha it was time for me to get a ring and propose to her; instead, she thought one of us ought to be surprised. She proposed to me in one of my favourite places and then gave me a ring to put on her finger.
In the days after, I did a lot of thinking wondering if it was a little emasculating. She already makes a lot more money than I do, and sometimes it feels like we have reversed traditional gender roles. Ultimately, I came to the satisfactory personal conclusion that there was no need for a conventional proposal, and all that mattered is that we are happy. As an added bonus, where I had been ready for so long before she did, having her propose removed any doubt in my mind that she wanted it. If I had proposed, I may have always wondered if she agreed even if it wasn’t quite the right time just to spare my feelings. Now, there is no uncertainty.
We took our unconventionality to the next level this summer when we very secretly eloped. Imagine our families’ surprise to learn that a) we were married, and b) we had secretly flown from Canada to New Zealand and gotten married atop a mountain. It’s our relationship, and we want to do what makes us happy.
EDIT: This is us atop Roys Peak in Wanaka, New Zealand.
11. Butthole‘d out:
Okay so a few weeks after we met, we were taking a shower together and she corners me and says “so are we dating? Are you okay with us dating? It’s okay if you say no. Will you go be my boyfriend?”
Of course being the absolute specimen of an gentleman that I am (/s) I say “well you caught me with my butt hole out, I can’t say no.”
Fast forward 4 years. We are camping. The nearest town is 60 miles away, the car is a few miles away, it’s cold,and…………I’m changing clothes. I’m butt naked in the tent. She says “so baby I’ve been thinking.” I say “oh lord let me at least put my pants on.”
She says “could you see yourself marrying me?” “Have you thought about it before?” “Will you marry me?” I said “well you caught me with my butthole out, I can’t say no!”
She thought that was hilarious, then we had a good long chat about it. On track for getting married in April. I think it’s pretty cool that she did it both times. Definitely made my life easier and I’m sure I’m under appreciating the clarity.
10. Still married!
Not me, but my mom proposed to my dad because she got tired of waiting for him after they’d been going out for almost 10 years. He was casual about it and was like, “Sure I’ll marry you. “ My dad was always shy and my mother more direct.
They’d known each other since they were 15 so they’d been together for so long they kinda forgot about marriage. They’ve been married for 30 years now and still going strong.
x2:
My husband and I are a younger version of your parents! He’s shy and withdrawn and I’m loud and outgoing. I asked him to marry me after 6yrs of dating (from 13/14) and he was very quiet a moment (long enough for me to get worried) because he likes to think everything through. When he finally answered it was just this quiet, deliberate “Okay.”
From the outside I know it doesn’t sound whirlwind-romantic-novel, but it makes me smile ear-to-ear at the memory. We’re celebrating our 11th anniversary in October and we’re still so in love with one another that it’s actually kinda embarrassing.
9. Confused, but only a little:
I had the ring in my hand, I was saying how happy she made me, and how I wanted us to be together forever. And then she interrupted and said ‘will you marry me?’ And I said yes and put a ring on her finger. Then I said ‘hang on, that was my line’. And she said ‘sorry, I got excited’. Then she cried a lot.
8. Spontaneous:
My Mum proposed to my Dad! In a pub, about 2 months after dating. He said no until he found a steady job and could support them …. 2 weeks later he found full time work and said they could get married! They celebrated 30 years together in May. I love them so much!
7. Easily convinced:
It was great. We had lived together for about a year, and one Sunday afternoon we were sitting on the couch talking shit, and she started talking about how women could use boobs to get men to do literally anything.
I argued that she was wrong and we weren’t that simple. She sat on my lap facing me, lifted up her shirt and said “will you marry me?” I was sworn to secrecy afterwards, but I’m pretty sure Reddit doesn’t count.
6. Loved!
I melted. Happiest moment of my life. Didn’t once occur to me what the conventional norm was supposed to be. Didn’t feel emasculated or anything. Just felt so loved.
Actually, I did at one point think, ‘fuck, getting proposed to is the best feelings in the world, fuck me, I can’t do this for her now. Fuuuuuck, how do I make her feel as loved as she is making me feel in this moment. FUCK. This love shit is so hard.’
Unfortunately, she passed away 5-months after that, and I never did get to wait for her at the end of the aisle.
5. Not emasculated.
I wasn’t really planning on proposing but one day while surfing the web I found this ring that was exactly his style and even had customizable runes (he is a die hard lover of all viking stuff) and I knew I just had to get it. I bought two rings, invited him to our favourite restaurant and after dessert I popped the question.
No, I didn’t get down on one knee or announce it for everyone to hear. My husband got so happy and yelled out “oh shit awesome!” when I showed him the rings aaaaaand…. He popped a boner that lasted all the way home and he was such in high spirit that he decided that we should have a bake off.
Spent the rest of the evening gaming and stuffing ourself with cake and buns :-))) I was worried that he would feel emasculated and stuff but he said that he’s really happy to have such a cool engagement ring and he has never been one to think that by being a MAN you had to do MANLY stuff and not be “overshadowed” by women.
He still tell me almost daily how much he likes being married and now we have a kid coming our way so I guess everything is really nice!
4. Relaxed:
My mom proposed to my dad. They are still married after 30 years. My dad had been married twice previously and my mother once before.
He said he never wanted to get married again and she said fuck that. So one day, when my dad got back from work on the railroad she was waiting for him with a steak and some scotch and she asked him and he said “okay”. The end.
3. Very, very happy:
I was made the happiest man that day. Twice!
Long story if you are interested: It was the day of my final exam of my 3 year apprenticeship. She took the day off and was more nervous than me when we had coffee together. I was sure she was nervous for the same reason as I was and didn’t pay much attention as my mind was occupied by the exam.
2 hours later: I passed the exam and we were standing outside with a colleague having a smoke and talking. And talking. And another cigarette. I was just so relieved and felt light as air and happy to not have a single thing on my mind than ‘I did it’. My girlfriend though was shuffling her feet not really taking part in the conversation.
After what must have been hours for her she asked what I wanted to do. Going downtown, shopping or grab something to eat, I didn’t care at all! She drove to the record store first. We walked to the window to have a look at the recordplayers as we were thinking about getting a new one.
‘How do you like that one?’ she asked pointing at one in the back. There was sign next to it with my name on it. And bright as I am I said ‘It has my name on it‘ ‘What else?’ It had ‘Let’s face the music an dance’ written on it. I just stared blank at it and then at her having not the foggiest.
She said ‘Now that you are a Technician I wanted to ask you if you also want to be my man?’ I said I would love to! Hugs and kisses. When I looked at the player again I noticed three of the staff standing behind it smiling and cheering with a bottle of Champaign and glasses.
It was a 11/10 day!
2. Resigned:
My wife proposed to me 4+ years ago because she knew I wouldn’t do it. Secretly, I had always told my friends that the only way I was going to get married was if a girl proposed to me… As far as I know, she didn’t know this. Worked out!
1. :’)
My gf said “if your friend Matt and his gf get married before us that’s BS.” I said “are you proposing?” She wasn’t but got down on one knee anyway and did. I cried. She’s made me a happy man.