Teachers deserve so, so, so much more money and support than they receive. Did you know that teachers spent an average of $500 of their own money on classroom supplies last year? Or that 30% of them have second jobs?
There are certainly statistics that also suggest being a teacher fills one with a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. Still, they should be making far more money for the amount of time and effort they put in on a daily basis. And also for putting up with students who write notes like this:
15. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell:
In health class, we were talking about boners and how they fill up with blood. My cousin took a piece of paper and wrote “your penis is filled with blood” and threw it at some popular kid. The teacher picked it up and you can see him die inside because of the immaturity of 8th graders and how he has to teach them for a career.
14. Devin is the type of man we need more of in this world:
Not a teacher, but once I wrote a love letter to a guy when I was 9 years old. When I got caught, a guy took the blame and read it to the whole class. He never said who wrote it. Thank you Devin.
13. Truly a genius response:
Not a teacher, but this one was great…
My Freshman year of HS, we had a student teacher for Algebra. This poor dude was terrified of public speaking. I don’t think he made eye contact with any of us. Anyway…one day he catches someone passing a note. He demands that it be handed over. He unfolds it and reads it aloud:
“My dick’s erect.”
The whole class busted out laughing. The supervising teacher was horrified. But this guy was perplexed. He had a strange, puzzled look on his face. He read it again, with conviction.
By now, people are crying and choking from laughing so hard, but not him. He was still confused. Our normal Algebra teacher snatched the paper out of his hand, probably fearing a lawsuit or something. She managed to crack a smile and then join the laughter when she read the note, which had 3 words scrawled on it:
My Dixie Wrecked
Mr. Kirkpatrick, where ever you are, thank you for one of my fondest high school memories.
12. So, so wholesome:
A positive spin: I was long-term subbing a class. One day I noticed students discreetly passing around a piece of paper while I was teaching. I went to retrieve it…. and discovered it was a petition signed by each student requesting I remain their teacher for the rest of the year 🙂
11. Kids are such savages:
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school, I started a note from the back row of the class, which was passed and read by nearly everyone in the class. The teacher grabbed it as it went past him, when there was only 3 people left who hasn’t read it.
I think he was going to read it out to the class, but he looked at it before he read it. All the note said was that the zip on his pants was down. With all respect to him, he calmly zipped up and continued teaching.
10. That’s what she gets for nosing around:
Not a teacher. Someone in my class had a cold and wiped their snot into a scrap piece of paper, as they didn’t have a tissue. They then scrunched it up and left it on the side of their desk. Teacher saw this, thought it was a note and grabbed the paper, going through the usual fanfare of ‘the importance not passing notes around’. The look on her face when she opened it was priceless.
9. This is hysterical for no reason at all:
I was in eighth grade and it was a hot, sunny day in mid May. I wrote “it’s snowing” on a piece of paper and showed it to my friend sitting next to me, who immediately looked out the window. We both laughed because obviously it wasn’t snowing.
Then he and I laughed when I showed it to another student and they immediately looked out the window. And so on until most of the class is in on the joke, and watching as I show the piece of paper to the next unwitting fool.
Almost every student knows what’s going on, when my teacher sees that I’m showing this piece of paper to everyone and making them laugh. She walks over to my desk, looks down at the piece of paper that says “it’s snowing” and instinctively looks out the window.
The entire class bursts out in laughter.
8. Going to need a followup to this one…
Not really a note, but when I was teaching college classes, I caught two of the girls whispering, so I told them “If you’re going to tell secrets, you need to share with the rest of the class.” (I taught preschool before this).
She looked right at me, and said, without the slightest embarrassment, “I was just telling her that I think you have a cute butt.” I was teaching a Communications class, and we were discussing communications in the workplace, and I looked down at the textbook. After seeing what the next section was, I said “Ok, moving on to the next section, titled ‘Sexual Harrassment’.”
Everyone roared with laughter.
A couple weeks later, at a baseball game paid for by the school, she came on to me really hard, with my fiancee right there.
7. Probably these kids don’t even need school:
One time a student had passed a note and I asked it to be read out. Read: bish to take K kn Bastards had been playing a game of fucking correspondence chess during my lesson. I let them carry on.
6. Some of the notes are heartbreaking:
I don’t know if this is the best but it’s pretty profound. I usually ignored note-passing. If a student didn’t want to pay attention but wasn’t bothering anyone else I was cool. In the age of cell phones notes were kind of outdated anyway.
So I had this student who could do origami like a boss and he was always making all kinds of animal figures and cool shapes that I would put on the cork board behind my desk. This one day he is getting his fold on and is completely focused and not paying attention.
Before I know it, class is over and it’s on my desk. He stops on the way out of my class and says, “You’re gonna wanna read that.” I read it and he asking for lunch money cause his mom took off and he was hungry. It hurts being a teacher some days.
5. Teachers should read notes before they make the students read them out loud:
In high school a girl in class passed a note to another girl, asking if she had a pad or tampon. Teacher completely blew up, started yelling at them, and asked them to read it out loud. They did, and the teacher, who was an older man, immediately calmed down and let it go. I think he was more embarrassed than the girls.
4. Maybe you failed because you spent so much time building planes?
I am not a teacher, but I have a story which was kind of the opposite When I was in college I was in a large math lecture hall 2 times a week, and me and my friends took to making paper planes and throwing them down from the back of the theater.
We did it often and I am sure we thought we were hilarious. Somehow nobody said a word except for the occasional snicker and it went on like that, on and off for the semester. Then, on the last day I remember writing “happy christmas Dr Jones!” on a plane and throwing it down , seeing it land in front of the lecturer.
He blew a fuse, and started shouting about how this had been going on all semester and he thought it was a disgrace. Then he picked up the plane and read the message, got very embarassed and meekly said “thankyou.”
I still cringe to think of my childish actions, but it did give me that moment of connection with the lecturer (before failing his class)
3. Thank goodness for this edit:
My then-fiancee was a high school math teacher. One day she thought she saw a note being passed, but she wasn’t sure, so she waited.
Then she thought she saw it again. Finally she saw it, walked over, and took it. It was a wedding card, signed by half of the class before she took it. She cried.
Edit: Yes, she’s now my wife.
2. Poor Mr. Fifield 🙁
Another non-teacher here, but my 7th grade teacher typically always wore a dress shirt to class and looked very presentable but this day he had his sleeves rolled up.
Now, everyone loved this teacher but my immediate though was to write a note to my friend sitting beside me that his arms were super hairy, and that note was passed back and forth with us cracking jokes about it. Nothing malicious or overly mean, just that we didn’t think he’d have such hairy arms.
We eventually got caught, and between classes he took us aside and warned us to not pass notes, and since this was the first time this happened he would toss it out without reading it and let us go.
Well, a couple months go by and he decides to wear short sleeves again, and his arms were noticeably less hairy. I know 12 year olds don’t have the greatest moral compass but to this day I still feel so bad that my dumbass little note might have made him so self-conscious about something so unimportant.
I’m sorry Mr. Fifield, wherever you are now 🙁
1. This person sounds like a great teacher:
I taught for a decade in a really rough area. I intercepted a lot of notes and was pretty shameless in public humiliation of my kids. I read a lot of a bad stuff out loud.
However, one really nice moment that stands out was when the super popular bubbly latina girl sat next to the stereotype depressed weird white theater band girl. I see them passing notes which is really uncharacteristic. The band girl seemed off and upset, but I let it go because it seemed like there was something going on more, and the latina girl was a really nice kid. I didn’t think she was bullying or anything.
I had the girls stay after for a second, and asked them what was up. The latina girl said, “I was worried about her, she looked sadder than usual. So I wanted to make sure she’s cool.” I asked the other girl if that’s what was happening and she said yep, and showed me the notes, which was a really heart felt convo about boys, relationships and feeling lonely. It was so damned sweet.
I asked if they needed more time, and they both said yes. I could get them excused from their next class and they asked if they could chill and talk more? I said sure, because you bet your ass wellness and mental health is a fuck-ton more important than curriculum.
They really had a moment, and it seemed to help them both. This was as 10th graders. I got to see them really develop a nice friendship over the next few years.
Go girls! Wherever you are now, I hope you’re still friends and I’m glad I could help facilitate that.