Lex
Every woman is different, but deep down inside, we’re all kind of the same. We’re hungry and anxious, need to bathe in dry shampoo, and love to annoy the male population (out of spite).
25.
Wearing black opaque tights: I am a sleek and sexy puma of a woman
Wearing any other colour of opaque tights: I teach art at the gnome school
— Georgia Wags (@georgialikesto) September 6, 2018
24.
Fake pockets in women’s slacks are the pantriarchy. Thank you.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 13, 2018
23.
Sorry I canceled our plans, I’m at an in between hair length right now.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) September 13, 2018
22.
i’m
so
fucking
tired— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) October 4, 2018
21.
here i am seconds after i’ve cut my own bangs pic.twitter.com/LuwlWuSbr8
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 18, 2018
20.
rompers: for when your life is too easy and you want a fun challenge every time you pee!
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 28, 2018
19.
ask me when I’m getting married and imma ask you when you getting promoted. Since people love asking trick questions pic.twitter.com/lipx9ixSOz
— La Bronze James (@jackieaina) October 5, 2018
18.
me when a girl compliments me vs me when a boy compliments me pic.twitter.com/L6Ps8yGIol
— saddy (@lesbihayley) September 7, 2018
17.
I am SUPER chill unless I’m hungry, overheated, running late, waiting in a long line, in traffic, at the doctor, on a beach, getting a massage, having a cocktail, sleeping,
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 31, 2018
16.
Birth control depression is so real… I’m always an emotional sack of shit. I’m seriously out in my car crying real tears right now because my iced coffee wasn’t made right and the girl at the drive thru window didn’t even say “you too” when I said have a good night
— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 5, 2018
15.
what i’m actually doing when i say i’m 5 mins away pic.twitter.com/B2uw0KzyJM
— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 7, 2018
14.
Girls complimenting each other in the Instagram comments pic.twitter.com/u1twlmhNJ2
— N/A (@makhiaveIIi) June 17, 2018
13.
why send 1 long text when u can send 14 little ones in a row and be even more annoying x
— levi jed murphy (@levijedmuxphy) September 6, 2018
12.
“yr not like other girls” my guy i am the amalgamation of every single girl i’ve ever thought was cool
— lil (@chickpeapatty) November 7, 2017
11.
Karl Marx, 1847 pic.twitter.com/3j2D0psS5B
— Lucy (@lucymooring) September 21, 2018
10.
I ordered a bathing suit so there will definitely be some sobbing in 5-7 business days.
— Sardonic Tart ?? (@SardonicTart) June 5, 2018
9.
if iced coffee can’t fix it nothing can
— Andrea Russett (@AndreaRussett) September 17, 2018
8.
I wish there was an invention where I could send my body to the gym but my mind and soul could stay in bed.
— roxane gay (@rgay) August 16, 2018
7.
so excited to transition from wearing the same 5 things in the summer to the same 5 things in the fall
— Alice Roth (@aliceroth) September 19, 2018
6.
me after taking a bath and putting a face mask on pic.twitter.com/IHuJe7BjV6
— marisol (@milanoysl) September 13, 2018
5.
girls be like “can you get my lip gloss from my purse? just reach in & head left, take a right at the wallet then turn left til you pass 3 nutrigrain bars & take your next right then head straight & it should be there. if you’ve hit the 2007 target receipts you’ve gone too far”
— jake (@squidslippers) August 24, 2018
4.
My personal brand is having several tabs with articles about how to work more efficiently open at all times and never reading them
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) August 14, 2018
3.
When the hairdresser doesn’t do what you wanted, but you smile and say thanks anyway. pic.twitter.com/d5gxmUeUMj
— wtf renaissance (@WtfRenaissance) December 18, 2017
2.
sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
— cricket🌻 (@cricket_cg) September 23, 2018
1.
Who needs a boyfriend when u can marry ur career and have it fuck u everyday!!
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) October 5, 2018