Mike
One of my favorite pastimes is sitting on my porch, having a few cold beers, and staring at twitter for hours on end. You’d think I’d get bored of it after a while but Twitter just keeps pumping out great content day after day.
These tweets are the cream of the crop. The best of the best. The most RTed tweets from the last couple weeks you’d have to be dead inside not to laugh at. Not that I’m judging. I’d say most of us are a little dead inside these days. Ugh. Sorry, I’m hungover.
24.
https://twitter.com/Carroll_Amy_/status/1060922710312828928
23.
I am 21 years old and I live with 5 other 21+ year old ADULTS. And one of them opened MY bag of cereal and only stole THE TOY then LEFT THE BAG OPEN. a whole ass adult opened my bag of cereal and stole my toy. I am prepared for combat
— Joey⚡️ (@joeygllghr) November 8, 2018
22.
Someone posted this to our neighborhood message board and I will never recover. pic.twitter.com/1uWwOKHHsZ
— Hannah Solow (@hamstertalk) November 8, 2018
21.
Me: they’re my service bees
Him: but they’re not trained. they attack everyone who gets close to you
Me: they’re trained
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) November 7, 2018
20.
i fucking love being from the midwest. i can tell the most basic anecdote from my childhood, like how i grew up eating chocolate chip bagels with chocolate chip cream cheese, and three new yorkers will die immediately
— ahmed ali akbar (@radbrowndads) November 9, 2018
19.
When I RT a good tweet by one of my friends with a low follower count pic.twitter.com/66Eku5ZoI3
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) November 8, 2018
18.
On route to the next interview in Dublin this afternoon and we came across this poor confused fella who was stuck in the middle of the main road. Having experienced many Swan rescues down the years I knew I could help… mission accomplished…now happy and safe at home x pic.twitter.com/wXoOIk8JKP
— Noel Fitzpatrick (@ProfNoelFitz) November 6, 2018
17.
always thinking about how the US Geological Survey couldn’t classify this bee so they put its genus and species into their official government files as “bee cute furry face” pic.twitter.com/Dn0Z4OipsT
— rachel yara (@bugposting) November 7, 2018
16.
https://twitter.com/TheAdamCardenas/status/948070818357145602
15.
Thanks to all the hard working community members of Flavortown. It was a delicious campaign and we are rollin out for another 4 years. pic.twitter.com/YkNVARsZKn
— Mayor Guy Fieri (@GuyFieri) November 7, 2018
14.
https://twitter.com/wylderwynd/status/1059941571288817664
13.
My dad finally finished building me a vanity and I guess you could say he’s pretty proud🤗 pic.twitter.com/DakKRrawgM
— Aly (@Alymarie550) November 6, 2018
12.
People with curly hair be like:
🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤
🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤
🍤 🍤 🍤 🍤 🍤
👁 👁👃🏻
👄
— gio (@rriigbone) November 4, 2018
11.
[after surgery]
doctor: you'll never walk again
me: oh god
doctor: the heely implants were a success
— Zilla (@GoodZiIIa) November 5, 2018
10.
https://twitter.com/FoolishNard/status/1059842363730939905
9.
https://twitter.com/mckaycoppins/status/1059835249776058368
8.
https://twitter.com/dumper_pupper69/status/1032105352643391488
7.
just remember that when you see photos of dogs with "i voted" stickers that all those dogs have committed voter fraud
— Steven Rich (@dataeditor) November 6, 2018
6.
https://twitter.com/kjfritz13/status/1058443639083491331
5.
https://twitter.com/kayyorkcity/status/1058957092202131456
4.
Did Grimace die??? pic.twitter.com/TLKfsscMnu
— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) November 3, 2018
3.
Hats aff to this wan😂 pic.twitter.com/lHhMmWQwOh
— mogwai (@morgan_hastie) November 2, 2018
2.
I found a tiny denim jacket at goodwill pic.twitter.com/xRpr0ZEX8Q
— alysse (@alyssemazakian) November 4, 2018
1.
anxiety: aren’t you like…worried?
me: about what?
anxiety: idk.
me: oh my god you’re right pic.twitter.com/IrfYAL4gHt
— ashlyn marrs (@ashlynmarrs913) October 24, 2018