Relationships

This Guy Found The World’s Most Insane Relationship Contract In A Used Car

Relationships are tough. You have to walk the line between being your own person, and dedicating a portion of your life to supporting someone else. It takes a lot of compromise, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of work. It’s perfectly normal to have conversations about things that make you unhappy or uncomfortable, laying out a firm foundation of trust and support.

What’s not normal is this totally bonkers and terrifying relationship contract that some dude just found in a used car!

https://twitter.com/kkeyes96/status/894692907529248769

But seriously folks, it’s hard to even believe this thing is real. In fact, it might be some elaborate inside joke. If not, then I sure hope this poor guy got away from her because this list is just red flag after red flag.

Some favorites:

  • You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than 2 times a week.
  • You’re NOT to look at a single girl.
  • You are NOT to get mad at me for a single thing ever again.
  • You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you.

Seems reasonable!

The best one, though? “You are NOT to go to Honda without me.” What does that mean?! Does he work at Honda? Do they shop for used Honda’s frequently enough as to warrant this item on the list? Does she think Honda is where all the hot n’ horny single girls are?

Most of all though, since this list was found in a traded-in car — was this the rule he broke? Did he go to Honda without her, trade in his car and walk off into the sunset? Here’s hoping.

The only thing we can be sure of is that this list is clearly nuts: