Mother-In-Law Awkwardly Mistakes A Fish Tank Vacuum For Her Son-In-Law’s ‘Penis Pump’

We all have those stories where our parents, who are behind the times, mistake modern technological items for something else. Like, how many times have your parents seen a new piece of technology and thought it was something dirty and foul? Maybe they haven’t, but I sure know that my mom has mistaken some back massagers for some other dirty items (swear, they were clean).

One Reddit user, u/i_love-lamp, shared the recent story of his mother-in-law coming into his house and trying to get him into some big trouble over the holidays. The story involves a fish tank, a fish gravel vacuum, and a very annoying mother-in-law. Apparently, this woman is the kind who loves gossip and spreading rumors about people. According to u/i_love-lamp, she shows up unannounced and often times just lets herself into their home—obviously, that’s annoying.

After Christmas, she showed up with more toys for his kids—which, teaches them nothing about being “grateful for what they have,” so, he was already annoyed. Then, she tried to cause some serious trouble between u/i_love-lamp and his wife.

I was making myself scarce tinkering around in my shed and apparently she looked in the cabinet under my aquarium and saw this:


and automatically assumed that it was some kind of penis enlarger. LMFAO! She proceeds to go tell my DW that she thinks I have a weird side of me that I am hiding and she thinks DW should have a talk with me. My wife said that her mom was totally serious, a little mad even, and my wife asked her to explain so MIL goes get my ‘cock pump’ from the cabinet and shows it to her.

My DW said she nearly pissed her pants but she held her composure and quickly walked outside and yelled for me to come in. When I got in she said “my mom has a question for you.” MIL asks what I need that ‘sick device’ for? I calmly explained what it was and that she should really worry about her own life. She noticed that DW was about to die inside from containing her laughter and she stormed out of the house. It was great. I can’t stand that bitch.

Honestly, that’s hilarious, and also, a bit disturbing. That’s a pretty huge vacuum—and if she thinks that it’s for someone’s penis, it sounds and looks hella painful. And, people on Reddit had thoughts.

Mil has a perverted mind, I mean who the hell would jump to that conclusion.


You should have just said “the fish like it” and watched her try to figure out what that meant.


My question would be why was she looking through the cabinet in the first place?


Your wife is great to share that experience with you. I would not have been able to hold in the laughter. I might have almost peed myself just reading it.

On the other hand, she missed the chance to say, “Uh, do you really want to be touching that?” and freak her mom out.


I totally agree, I somehow wish they had played along and made it seem like it was a penis pump. It would have been one for the books.