Lex
For many women who are plus-sized, they experience some traumatizing moments while having to try on clothing and look for their size in stores. Not everyone who works in retail are understanding and kind—in fact, most are not. There are dozens of times where people avoid going shopping altogether because they don’t want to feel as though they’re being judged and ridiculed for their size. BuzzFeed recently asked users to share their traumatizing experiences to shed light on how cruel retail workers and everyday people can be—and, hopefully, inspire more people to be kind.
1.
In high school I want prom dress shopping at a little dress store in the mall. I grabbed a dress to try on and asked the shop lady for a dressing room. She looked me up and down, took the dress out of my hands, and said “there is nothing in my store that will fit YOU” while pointing up and down and across my midsection. Then she asked me to leave.
2.
When I went dress shopping for prom with just me and my other plus sized friend, we went to the store in our town where most people go for prom. We got there and they said that they were not ordering in extra sizes this year, and they decided to do as system where they only had what was on the rack only. We ask if they have a plus size section and they lead us straight to the clearance rack, which only had about 4 plus sizes and they we’re all extremely ugly. We asked if that was all that was left they said that was about all they ordered in. My friend almost cried because it just felt so embarrassing to go into that store and the only dresses they had that might fit you are ugly and aren’t even the right plus size. It felt kinda like they were saying if your bigger or a fatter that you can’t wear pretty dresses like the rest of the skinny girls. It just felt very size discriminatory Luckily we found a store that had a lot of beautiful plus sizes. But the experience we had at that dress shop was disheartening and we will never be going back.
3.
Went to VS for something new to wear for my six year anniversary with my fiancé. Couldn’t find anything in my size. So I asked one of the girls to help and she said to me “well maybe once you lose some weight, we’ll find something in your size!”
Yeah I left the store in tears.
4.
I went into a clothing store just looking around and I picked up a pair of pants to look at. Store employee came over to me and said “we don’t really make YOUR size here but you can always take them to the tailor and have them let out”. Practically ran out of the store and cried in my car.
5.
At a bridal shop they had maybe 3 dresses in the size I needed, (16/18 in normal dresses) or that would even fit enough to get an idea of a dress, and none of them were the style I liked. The associate went to grab a bride from another room to model the dresses for me. She was the polar opposite of me in every way. Super tall, dark coloring to my gingerness, runway model type body type to my more hourglass and busty body type.
She looked gorgeous in every dress. The associate that was supposed to be helping me and the associate that was helping her both ignored me and started pulling all kinds of things for her to try on, and discussing how classic and beautiful traditional white dresses are instead of “trying too hard and possibly looking tacky” with a less traditional color choice. (I was looking for something that didn’t make me look monochromatic, as I am so pale white I practically glow in the dark)I started to get ready to leave and Other Bride’s associate told me there was plenty of time to lose some weight before the wedding. The other bride decided to chime in and tell me which diet I should be on and give me a reference card for the gym she went to because “if you sign up I get 50$!”
I went home and cried, and was so put off by the whole thing I just picked a dress out of a catalog at a different store without trying anything on.
I STILL regret not standing up for myself so I could have gotten a dress I really loved. I hate looking at wedding pictures even 12 years later.
6.
I went into a popular bra store, and was looking around for something in my size (38F) that was a bit cheaper then the 120$ bras I usually had to buy.
A girl who was *maybe* 18, came up and asked if I needed help finding a gift. I said no I was looking for a certain style of bra, could she point me in the right direction.She paused and smiled like I was an idiot and said “oh no honey, we don’t carry bras for your part of the alphabet.” And walked away shaking her head.
Bitch didn’t even ask my size.
7.
I had picked a cute dress off the rack just to look at it and offer it to a friend (whose size it was) to try on. The manager of the boutique came over to me, took the dress away, saying she didn’t want “any broken zippers” in her store. I never went back.
8.
I went prom dress shopping when I was eighteen and it was hell. It wasn’t finding a dress that was hard – there are plenty of beautiful dresses out there for plus size women. No, it was the shopping consultants I couldn’t deal with. The first store I went into, I told the lady what I was looking for (a black, floor-length gown). She told me I didn’t want a black gown, because I “have my entire life to wear black,” and that I should just sit down instead of looking myself. “It’s gonna be a lot of work to find something that’ll look good on you. Especially because you’ve got huge hips and incredibly small breasts.” I took my business elsewhere.
9.
I went to a boutique in our mall since some of their flowy, regular sized clothes actually did fit me. I was glancing over a few tops and the lady working there came over to me and said, “the bigger sizes are over here.” My jaw dropped and I just walked out, biting my lip so I didn’t cry or do something mean.
10.
It’s THE LOOK you get when you walk into a store that you know doesn’t sell clothing in your size. The “who let this whale out in public” look. When shopping with a “regular sized” friend, the sales staff will always notice them first and look at them when asking questions, even if they’re not the ones buying anything. We constantly get overlooked!
–brzy
11.
I’ve always been a big girl. When I was in fourth or fifth grade, I wanted Aeropostale shirts DESPERATELY because all of my friends had them. My mom finally took me to one when we were on vacation, and a worker told me that they didn’t think they would have my size there. TO A FOURTH GRADER. I of course, didn’t think anything of it at the time, because I was in fourth grade. I ended up buying 4 or 5 shirts anyway because I wanted to fit in. And yes, they did have my size. Since that day, my mom despises Aeropostale, and now I have a fear of going into any store that I know doesn’t sell my size. Even if I am there looking at accessories.
12.
I once took a bunch of pricey, unworn heels to an upscale second-hand boutique to sell, and the cashier looked at me (not the shoes) and said I’d be better off taking them to a plus-sized thrift store, or just donating them to Goodwill. When I asked if she was even going to look at them she said they weren’t interested in plus-sizes clothes. Um, they’re shoes.
13.
I was looking for a bridesmaid dress at Neiman Marcus, and had a literal Mean Girls experience. I asked an employee for help finding a specific dress color, and she looked at me and said “hmmm, you might have a better time finding something in your size at Penney’s or Macy’s.” I left in tears.
14.
Wedding dress shopping as a plus-size woman was awful. Most of the places we went had very matronly dresses–I wanted to be a little sexy. David’s Bridal had 3 choices in my size and wondered why I wouldnt commit. Other places had dresses that were way too small or none at all and said they could order a dress if I paid the deposit–who buys a dress if you cant see what it looks like on you. We ended up at Alfred Angelo, because every dress came in every size and I found my dress. It was the 20th dress I had tried on. My seamstress was the one Mike Rowe featured rescuing the dresses when AA went out of business and she took that beautiful dress and made it perfect for me. It shouldn’t be so hard to find a dress to bring tears to your spouse’s eyes.
15.
Having to hear: “are you sure that’s what you want?”, “ya know someone with a (insert fruit here) body shouldn’t wear this and that”, “oh but we don’t have your size (without even knowing your size)”, “it doesn’t fit? But you can buy it for when you loose weight!” . Or have people look at you like you’re an alien when buying something (specially lingerie or more revealing outfits). The awful experience of having jeans that would fit on the waist but don’t fit on your thighs, or having to escavange for clothes your size and seeing people just go by the store just picking stuff. Don’t even get me started on thrift shopping, it’s so hard to find cute stuff on bigger sizes.
16.
Once, I was in a very well know shopping in Buenos Aires, where I live. I say this because there are laws in place to stop shops to charge an extra or discriminate. That said, I was browsing for a friend who is tiny and had grabbed a shirt to buy. A woman apparently wanted the same shirt and so the shop employee took the article from my hands, telling me “It won’t fit you” and promptly sold it to the other woman. The manager was nowhere to be found and they refused to call her. Never bought there again.
17.
I’ve been flat out told to leave a shop by a person who said “we have nothing that will fit you.”
18.
I’ve been plus size my whole life according to US measurements. In high school in the late 90s, I couldn’t find any clothing I was comfortable wearing that was trendy or fit my personality. For the longest time my mom bought me clothes out of the ad section from Parade magazine (think cheaply made jeggings with pleats and elastic band waists with material that appears to resemble denim). I was bullied a ton for my clothes, and my dad, who travelled a lot for work, got a ton of European teen plus size mail order catalogues. I was successful, and my parents eventually found Lane Bryant online and then learned it was at our local mall. When my mom and I went to this store where there was legit plus-size fashionable clothing I could try on in person, I burst into tears of happiness on the way home (with an entirely new wardrobe in the backseat). As a plus size kid, I could never express myself through fashion like my peers did, so learning that I could express myself and be taken seriously when I stood up to bullies helped me be confident.
19.
This one time I was shopping for jeans and the guy in the store helping me started really helpfull and kind at first. The problem was, every pair I tried on was, or too tight around the hips, or too loose around the waist.
Hé got really impatient and frustrated really fast and recommended to me I’d try buying my jeans in countries like Brazil, “where girls are more curvy and you would fit in” , to find my right size…. I am an Italian girl living in the Netherlands…. I asked him if he would pay for my planet ticket and left the store.
20.
I know a lot of these are gonna be negative but honestly the most prevalent memory for me was the first time I swallowed my fear and shopped in a plus sized store. I had been punishing myself and denying myself of feeling good and looking good for so long and the second I walked into that store, I realized it. Finally, I found a place where I don’t feel lesser than because of my size. I finally felt like a person and was willing to find clothes that made me stand out rather than clothes that helped me be invisible. Life changing.