Masha
Are you the type of person who gets excited about meals scheduled in the distant future? The type of person who has their final death row meal all buttoned up? The sort of individual who could never be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t enjoy food as much as you do, simply because the amount of joy it brings you may be slightly embarrassing?
If so, you’ve come to the right place.
1.
📍Complains about my weight
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📍Exercise and diet |
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📍Chinese food— b.b (@benoobrown) December 31, 2018
2.
Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) December 30, 2018
3.
Overrated: shower sex
Underrated: eating in the shower— Just another crazy fucker (@gunsblazinjsn) December 30, 2018
4.
ranch is by far the best/most underrated condiment out there.
hear me out:pizza?
RANCHwings?
RANCHsalad?
RANCHchicken nuggets?
RANCHcarrots?
RANCHwraps?
RANCH— Danielle LoMastro (@dmlomastro) December 31, 2018
5.
When you put rice and chicken on your fork and the chicken falls out and you swallow just rice pic.twitter.com/Jo0oUr7Gjr
— milk and henny (@ablsaint) January 3, 2019
6.
Gone from eating pigs in blankets to being a pig in blanket
— Ashley Griffith (@AshleyGriffo_) December 28, 2018
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
7.
Keto Diet’s cool but have you tried the Cheeto Diet?
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) January 3, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/activepuppie/status/1078975258432925697
9.
https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/1081690768949923840
10.
am i the only one who opens the fridge repeatedly hoping that the food ur craving will magically appear
— colson (@machinegunkelly) December 31, 2018
11.
When your parents tell you dinner is ready and you come down and it's not pic.twitter.com/uQ4IqnoIah
— Emergency Kittens (@EmrgencyKittens) December 29, 2018
12.
Spinach pizza really hits but y’all aren’t ready for this adult conversation.
— lex. (@alexuuussss) December 28, 2018
13.
https://twitter.com/_notoriousliyah/status/1080596296719888385
14.
reasons i eat:
☒ boredom
☒ felt a feeling
☒ attempt to fill hole in soul
□ hunger— so sad today (@sosadtoday) January 5, 2019
15.
before i eat vs after i eat pic.twitter.com/qBpHAMFIL2
— Emma Thatcher (@emmajthatcher) January 1, 2019
16.
God bless fast food.
God bless slow food.
God bless any kind of
I-don’t-have-to-cook food.— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) January 4, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
17.
You know she comfortable around yo ass if she eat like this in front of you pic.twitter.com/9JJ2Pd4Ujw
— JDBwitThejuice ➐ (@all_in_yo_girl) January 5, 2019
18.
types of people you shouldn’t trust:
1.) everyone
2.) who
3.) like
4.) pineapple
5.) on
6.) pizza— larri (@LARRAYXO) December 31, 2018
19.
“I need to lose some weight”
also me pic.twitter.com/3kFswRnM8o
— *21 savage whispering* (@itschrissybaeb) December 29, 2018
20.
why is cereal still considered a breakfast food when we all know it hits better at night
— ✰ samflower ✰ (@milkygoddess) December 31, 2018
21.
I swear I go through a phase of literally eating one meal a day and then a few weeks later eating 5 meals a day and pigging out on snacks in between no wonder my body doesn’t know what the fuck is going on
— Zoe McGlade (@ZoeMcglade) January 2, 2019
22.
This why u can’t eat at everybody house! 🤮 https://t.co/yfygMWB0dw
— mirah. (@itismirah) January 1, 2019
23.
eating avocado toast at 4am maybe i should move to LA
— adam (@brokeangeI) January 2, 2019
24.
I want a hot body but I also want to eat tamales
— Alannized (@Alannized) December 29, 2018
25.
I left my car unlocked for 10 minutes to go tanning and someone stole my KFC. They left my wallet…but stole my chicken…
— Lyndi Rose ✨ (@_lyndi_) January 4, 2019
26.
Tonight I picked up a group of girls at Pumphouse for Uber.. I try to accommodate by bringing some McDonald’s chicken nuggets for people to eat. Well.. long story short I made this girl cry because she apparently “Loves nuggs with all of her heart!”
— Easton Herring△⃒⃘⚯͛ (@EastonHerring) December 30, 2018
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
27.
My favorite part of going out to eat is acting like I’ve never met food before. Bread?? Complimentary? On my table?! How exotic. How fucking foreign. Brëd? Bręæd? Is that Latin? Nice to meet you.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) December 28, 2018
28.
📍glass of water
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📍breakfast |
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📍overpriced hot beverage
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📍heavy lunch
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📍milk tea
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📍greasy food
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📍carbonated drink
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📍expensive dinner
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📍alcoholic drink
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📍midnight snack— eirizu.bsky.social (@Eirizu) December 30, 2018
29.
When the bbq sauce slightly caressin the macaroni pic.twitter.com/o92Lngye6k
— Big Gengar (@PushupSensei) January 2, 2019
30.
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?
— J o n a t h a n (@JonathanJoly) January 5, 2019
31.
At what point do you stop using “it’s the holidays” as an excuse to keep eating?
— Hailee Steinfeld (@HaileeSteinfeld) December 28, 2018
32.
This would be a dope ass Valentine’s Day gift pic.twitter.com/jE99n90OfG
— CBz Flash⚡️ (@hsalF_esreveR) January 4, 2019
33.
When your order number is 59 & they just called 43 pic.twitter.com/RYbhwBfOd1
— Charles J. Moore (@charles270) January 4, 2019
34.
https://twitter.com/anuscosgrove/status/1078445792166334469
35.
Me: *gets comfy with a FAT plate of food and turns on Netflix*
Netflix: pic.twitter.com/tcvxO9OCjB
— zander (@alezander) January 4, 2019
36.
📍immigrant parents
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📍apologizing |
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📍cutting up pieces of fruit and giving them to you on a plate— Emily Annette ❁ (@emllyannette) December 30, 2018
37.
Walking out of 5 guys after spending $60 on a burger and a paper bag full of fries pic.twitter.com/qGrLI58Gkw
— Aokiji クザン (@DukeOfZamunda) December 31, 2018
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 8, 2019