Best Tweets Of The Week (1.15.19)
No one has better tweets than Twitter. I know that seems like a silly thing to say, but these days you see funny tweets popping up on all of the other social media platforms too. However, if you want to find the good stuff, I find it’s best to go right to the source.
1.
https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/1084660723119202304
2.
danny devito isn’t going to die he’s just going to keep getting smaller and more dense until he finally collapses into a blackhole and swallows the earth
— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 (@cottoncandaddy) August 10, 2018
3.
How good were them lessons in school when a teacher would start talking bout their personal life and every1 would pretend to care and ask loads of questions to keep her going and pass time so didn’t have to do our work hahahaha miss school 😢
— Caitlin Siviter (@caitlinsiviterx) January 10, 2019
4.
I just remembered the time I was dating a British man and I was annoyed at him about something so I deliberately made my tea in the microwave while staring him right in the eyes
— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) January 9, 2019
5.
my apartment's pest control guy always refers to Richie (my cat) as a "fellow industry professional"
— steak (@stellmoney) January 10, 2019
6.
https://twitter.com/ballerguy/status/1082792479227826176
7.
Yo don’t come to NYC to chase ur dreams if u can’t walk fuckin fast son
— super star girl (@Sherissepena3) January 6, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/baldboyblues/status/1082925200901951488
9.
when the 17th cup of coffee doesn’t give me energy and fills me with more of the same pure uncut anxiety as the first 16 cups pic.twitter.com/yrdLPRhErT
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) January 10, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/MawandeCakata/status/1083001132518133762
11.
https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1083481725966139403
12.
How ironic that there are suddenly far more Marie Kondo jokes than necessary.
— tommy toiletman, attorney at law (@tveite) January 9, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/satanssatinson/status/1082461023397924864
14.
https://twitter.com/areyoushoor/status/1059901236072366080
15.
My grandmother has a new “friend” at her retirement community. He takes her shopping and to get her hair and nails done.
She told me that his wife doesn’t mind because she has Alzheimer’s.
Ma’am.
— lo. (@laa_ren) January 7, 2019
16.
Mas nakix pic.twitter.com/ibe78EyEmf
— ᴬᴸᴱˣᴵˢ (@_vlexis) January 1, 2019
17.
[normal life]
ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week
[packing for vacation]
hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts— jonny sun (@jonnysun) July 5, 2016
18.
https://twitter.com/visagermusic/status/1084700799186288640
19.
https://twitter.com/annagedstad/status/1081931776900169728
20.
https://twitter.com/amanda_c_rae/status/1010370440370491392
21.
https://twitter.com/_ChaChaChance/status/1082020097131196418
22.
https://twitter.com/sarayasin/status/1082283342383456257