Emily Burns
It’s that time of the week again, the time when we bring you the most hilarious tweets by the women of Twitter.
This week, our favorite funny ladies really outdid themselves. So, enjoy these original tweets on us and have an amazing weekend.
1.
let’s be honest, the Marie Kondo method also applies to people in your life “do they spark joy? any emotion at all? mostly heartburn? then back into the giant mix n mingle you go”
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 14, 2019
2.
When you’re at a party and you spend four hours unsure how to leave, that’s called a Brexit.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) January 15, 2019
3.
Today I learned that possums and opossums are different animals and I gotta tell you, I am beyond furious
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) January 17, 2019
4.
How long is it useful to carb load after a super hard cardio workout? Is the answer 3 years?
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 14, 2019
5.
i learned how to play the theme from Up on piano so when a party is just too fun i can make everyone really sad
— kelly (@kelllicopter) January 17, 2019
6.
baby shark has formed a 2020 exploratory committee
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) January 14, 2019
7.
I hurt my neck applying mascara, so obviously I’m in the best physical shape of my life.
— Stacey (@skittle624) January 14, 2019
8.
I don't mean to brag, but I just did all five of my dishes IMMEDIATELY after cooking and eating. IMMEDIATELY.
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) January 17, 2019
9.
Ghostbusters reboot but it’s just me and a gang of friends getting revenge on men who’ve ghosted ya
— Hope Rehak (@HopeRehak) January 17, 2019
10.
people who back into parking spots just want attention
— sweet b (@badbitchh96) January 16, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 18, 2019
11.
A woman walked into the gym wearing workout clothes & carrying a full-sized pizza box.
I think I just found my new personal trainer.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 13, 2019
12.
me when i see drunk girls crying in the bathroom at the club pic.twitter.com/jsGeq97gwF
— ♡ UCHIHA ♡ (@BITCHINUTERO) January 16, 2019
13.
me to my niece:
i want you to know that even when you have a little brother or sister, you'll always be my special girl.niece: okay. but let's not tell the new baby that.
— wikipedia brown (@eveewing) January 17, 2019
14.
good morning to everyone but especially the woman in 7-eleven who whispered “fill ‘er up” as she poured coke AND coffee into the same big gulp cup
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) January 15, 2019
15.
I refuse to let yall see what i looked like 10 years ago. As far as yall know ive been this fine my whole life.
— rocio ceja stan account (@NikkiCallowayy) January 14, 2019