Edward
Children are the future. Fortunately, these kids have life completely figured out. I wish I had my life half this put-together.
1. This kid who knows what’s best for his friends
My son got his report card today and academically he did well but his teacher wrote a note specifying “ he needs to use kind words with friends “ . I asked him about it and he said “ My friends are dumb and they need to know “
— ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️ (@PurestInNoSense) March 24, 2018
2.
My 7yo daughter: someone at camp said girls aren’t tough.
Me: what did you say to that?
My 7yo, who has had a loose tooth for over a week: I pulled out my tooth in front of him and he stopped talking to me. #parenting
— Katie Cook (@katiecandraw) August 24, 2018
3.
Didnt mean this when I said clear your plate chlo #outsmarted pic.twitter.com/I0c6IuCc
— Stefanie Humphreys (@StefHumphreys) January 20, 2012
4. This expert-level smuggler
The most “Shawshank Redemption” story you’ll hear today:
My younger son tries to sneak sugar packets out of restaurants and eat them in the car. We’ve taken to checking his pockets, so he stuffed five of them in a hollowed-out breadstick. pic.twitter.com/F81jQuvW7g— Peter Hartlaub (@peterhartlaub) August 21, 2018
5. This kid with a vision and a plan
My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.
— David Juurlink (@DavidJuurlink) August 12, 2018
6. This girl who drew up paperwork for her mom to sign after offering a back rub
7.
I did my 6 year old nieces makeup…then let her do mine…. pic.twitter.com/0NRCydpP7p
— Ally (@aalexandriabish) December 30, 2016
8. This kid who’s almost mastered the water dispenser
My little brother learned how to use the water dispenser for our fridge and… pic.twitter.com/vG54i8FlZS
— Iza (@IMolzan) September 6, 2018
9. This kid who knows how to handle toxic men
My 7yo daughter: someone at camp said girls aren’t tough.
Me: what did you say to that?
My 7yo, who has had a loose tooth for over a week: I pulled out my tooth in front of him and he stopped talking to me. #parenting
— Katie Cook (@katiecandraw) August 24, 2018
10. This realist
Teacher to my son after he gets in trouble: “I’m going to have to call your mom.”
Son: “Don’t call her.”
Teacher: “Sorry but I have to.”
Son: “No I’m serious. Don’t call her. She doesn’t answer her phone. You have to text her.”
— Danielle and Farrah (@effinghandbook) March 12, 2018
11. These kids who are definitely one adult
my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling pic.twitter.com/Q3emyEDxgN
— royse (@Roysenotes) April 15, 2019
12.
This little guy told his Dad that he wanted to learn how to train his dog and his Dad said there were lots of dog training videos on YouTube. So here he is, showing them to the dog! pic.twitter.com/xtBRYexSn6
— Nature's Majesty (@NatureMajesty) February 17, 2018
13. This kid who lived his revenge fantasy
What's the funniest thing your kid wrote?#FunnyKid pic.twitter.com/wAQIrCDkhg
— DAVINCI Vaporizer (@DaVinciVape) November 16, 2016
14. This future literary genius
My daughter has started a story and ‘Rebecca’ no longer has the greatest opening lines in literature. pic.twitter.com/xlvAhasB4V
— Jo Boyles (@joboyley) October 4, 2018
15. This true princess
It was princess day at dance and one little girl came as a hot dog I have never admired someone more. pic.twitter.com/zGFL3KL3mp
— Brian Calzini (@BrianCalzini) July 10, 2016
16.
LMAO MY BABY SISTERS BAG pic.twitter.com/5i9qA8E3gq
— za worudo (@LUVlnTheSky) January 29, 2016
17. This kid who had to write a character essay from the perspective of their favorite superhero
My students had to pick a Marvel character to embody within a resume and cover letter. The idea that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take lives within one particular student of mine. @RobertDowneyJr @prattprattpratt @vindiesel #iamwfisd #wfisdengineering @WFISD_CEC pic.twitter.com/7pddcxebsK
— Jeffrey Scott Davis M. Ed., CSWA (@ROBODAVISWFISD) May 8, 2018
18. This kid with the best cake demands
She is 3 yrs old and wanted s Tom Selleck cake for her birthday! #MyKidIsWeird pic.twitter.com/XXLU8CC3FF
— Dr. Rachelle Belanger (@RMBelanger26) April 4, 2016
19. This girl who knows the importance of a good nap
My kid likes to take naps on the front porch on a sled with bike helmet covered in green felt. #MyKidIsWeird pic.twitter.com/5eqUuuKQn9
— jennifer dorner (@jenniferdorner) April 4, 2016
20. This kid who understands semantics
Didnt mean this when I said clear your plate chlo #outsmarted pic.twitter.com/I0c6IuCc
— Stefanie Humphreys (@StefHumphreys) January 20, 2012
21. This kid asking the real questions
Me: If we're ever separated in a store and a stranger says you should leave with them, shout "No!"
6yo: Ok, but what if they're beautiful?— Kristin (@FeralCrone) August 28, 2016
22. This selfie queen
https://twitter.com/mesmoudh/status/1102636291676618753
23. This cup-stacking champion
https://twitter.com/_mommanat/status/1102792131243134977
24. This kid who is an idiot or a genius
Asked my son to box up his leftover mac and cheese at the restaurant and he put the entire bowl in there and I’m not sure if he’s an idiot or a genius. pic.twitter.com/3EVFt9xkqK
— The Dad (@thedad) February 27, 2018
25. This newly-converted pizza follower
My daughter just tried pizza for the first time. pic.twitter.com/yiPNJgUBJg
— Jody Avirgan (@jodyavirgan) March 3, 2018
26.
Asked my son to box up his leftover mac and cheese at the restaurant and he put the entire bowl in there and I’m not sure if he’s an idiot or a genius. pic.twitter.com/3EVFt9xkqK
— The Dad (@thedad) February 27, 2018
27.
It was princess day at dance and one little girl came as a hot dog I have never admired someone more. pic.twitter.com/zGFL3KL3mp
— Brian Calzini (@BrianCalzini) July 10, 2016
28. This ‘crazy hair day’ winner
https://twitter.com/RICANPAPl/status/976185607977398273
29. This kid who learned how Amazon’s “One-Click” purchase option works
My badass little cousin ordered $300 worth of toys w/o my aunt & uncle knowing. This is a picture of how everyone found out. pic.twitter.com/wHWVhsMBYI
— princess ria (@R_tatas) August 11, 2018
h/t: Buzzfeed