25 Bathrooms I’d Rather Dump In My Pants Than Use

A bathroom should be a safe place. It’s where you’re the most vulnerable. So when you walk into one of these hellscapes to drop a deuce, the atmosphere instantly liquidates it into nervous diarrhea. All of these bathroom designers should be in jail.

1. Translucent bathroom doors and children don’t mix.

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2. And the judges score: a number 2.

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3. A throne fit for a king.

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4. This is supposed to go above the bedroom, not the bathroom.

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5. Hmm, what are the most insensitive decals you could put up in a handicap bathroom?

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6. “I bet you’re all wondering why I called you here today.”

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7. Oh good, they’ve made dropping things into the toilet even easier.

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8. This urinal looks shocked by that toilet pairing.

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9. Streaming music.

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10. Challenge accepted.

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11. Quite possibly the worst paint choice possible.

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12. There’s something missing here…

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13. This transparent bathroom stall.

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14. This triggered my fight or flight response.

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15. This emotional support toilet.

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16. This toilet next to an elevator on the turd floor.

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17. This toilet at Stretch Armstrong’s house.

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18. This toilet for if you can’t quite make it to the upstairs bathroom.

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19. This toilet designed to literally scare the sh*t out of you.

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20. Seriously, can we stop with the clear bathroom doors? Why are you doing this?

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21. And finally, this toilet designed to catch a few rays while you go.

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22. It takes a hawkeye to find it.

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23. This unfortunate sink pattern.

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24. But don’t ever cross the streams.

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25. Why???

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Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome