With millions of funny tweets happening every day, it can be tough to keep up.
Lucky for you I sail the vast sea of twitter and catch the big ones.
I dump my bounty here for you every Friday. Enjoy.
when people leave my 15 yr old sister on read she sends them voice memos of her Screaming— adison (@coolgrandma98) June 5, 2019
Guys. Let me tell you what my manager did today.— bam (@mustafayadigg) June 4, 2019
A grown woman, on 6 figure salary.
Poured a cup of tea on her work laptop and the keyboard stopped working. I told her to put it in rice. So she went to M&S
Please look at this pic.twitter.com/TXaZVce4hc
Hold up.— Kibblesmith ☃️ (@kibblesmith) June 4, 2019
Forest Whitaker is a winner of "Best Actor" which is a synonym for "Worthiest Faker" which is an anagram for "Forest Whitaker."
So it was my cousins 3rd birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this pic.twitter.com/U3FYpeGKTM— ANDREA (@dreeaaxo_) June 5, 2019
never forget the time my brother missed the bus and wrote my mom this note pic.twitter.com/ETqbzW7adN— sarah ♡ (@sarahhollidayyy) June 4, 2019
me, stepping spider on— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) June 4, 2019
into the shower the ceiling
trying not to watching me
do anything to
anger the spider pic.twitter.com/3fEEfSNSGE
I am not in a Walmart parking lot physically right now but I am in a Walmart parking lot emotionally— RUTH-ANN (@RuthAnnJoy) June 3, 2019
My parents have a pet tortoise and he walks around the house. Today he found a chicken nugget under the couch and brought it to them as a gift. pic.twitter.com/rTMsfs24Cf— Doug DeMars (@dugdefuzz) June 2, 2019
well that's a first pic.twitter.com/rFanjHAPqL— ellie sunakawa (@elliesunakawa) June 4, 2019
So I painted my birth control packet. pic.twitter.com/rTYfpniJRw— Ivy ☁️ (@ivywintxrs) May 31, 2019
I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.— Tracie Tom (@tracietom) March 24, 2018
Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here"— stella donnelly stan (@youngandjoven) June 3, 2019
I have a good feeling by the time I’m 55 I’m going to start seeing commercials telling me if I ever downed a 4loko and show medical symptoms I’m entitled to financial compensation— Meg (ง •̀_•́)ง (@swickerdooodIe) May 11, 2019
I found a phone by the pool earlier and texted the person who kept texting to let them know I’d found the phone and now TWO people are saying it’s their boyfriend’s and he’s saying don’t give it to one of them but she might lie so fuck this shit I just called his mom now he’s mad— Lauren Hough (@laurenthehough) June 2, 2019
An actual text my mother just sent me pic.twitter.com/43nnoS2jSj— 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕒 𝕕𝕠𝕚𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕤 (@bhossbhabie) June 2, 2019