Jason Mustian
While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Piss Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
https://twitter.com/nachosarah/status/1157387513985560576
2.
Giants Strippers
đ¤
Grinding menâs bones to make their bread— cas says free palestine (@CrappyFumes) August 1, 2019
3.
https://twitter.com/RachelWenitsky/status/1156724794693423106
4.
our internet isnât connected yet and my husband owns 3 DVDs: 28 Days Later, the Matrix and season 5 of the Simpsons. I feel like Iâm in a college guyâs âtake 3 thingsâ desert island answer
— Lucy (@LucyXIV) July 31, 2019
5.
My kink is watching men saunter into female-dominated workout classes thinking theyâre in for a relaxing hour, then dying on top of their 7.5 pound weights when they realizes women are strong as f*ck.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) July 29, 2019
6.
https://twitter.com/britrbennett/status/1155502002551398401
7.
https://twitter.com/laurenthehough/status/1155391774875103232
8.
https://twitter.com/kornrare/status/1156310106864267270
9.
https://twitter.com/rubysoleiI/status/1156276243949449216
10.
Sex is good but have you ever gotten a dm from someone saying your ex was so bad at DJ-ing he is no longer allowed back in the establishment?
— Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) August 1, 2019
11.
When someone unworthy of you wants to smash pic.twitter.com/Nbv88moSVH
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) August 2, 2019
12.
https://twitter.com/maddiwray6/status/1156680276753506304
13.
https://twitter.com/AlisonLeiby/status/1156411976626688001
14.
You ever throw me into a pool, im dying off principal. Have fun with that murder charge pic.twitter.com/rdhDygqSH2
— Lil Zes$t (@Seoul_Calibur) July 28, 2019
15.
Vibrator died so you know what i have to do
https://t.co/PUgf8YmXAS— moomi (@moomicore) July 30, 2019
16.
ah shit. I just remembered everything I have ever said and done. and it's not great
— eClaire (normal, chilling) (@themanburglar) August 1, 2019
17.
https://twitter.com/TeaganKMannyy/status/1156761192796344321
18.
https://twitter.com/ziwe/status/1156696418112999424
19.
kid got just so mad he couldnât order a hot dog at this airport restaurant he yelled âhot dogs are my familyâ and then his mom immediately asked for a white wine and you know what i identify with both of them
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July 29, 2019
20.
men are fully 37 years old texting âsorry if it felt like u were feeling hurt by thinking that i treated you like a cum rag undeserving of respect,, i SAID in my tinder profile that iâm ~figuring things out and working on myself~ so kinda seems like your fault huhđ¤â
— jamie (@veryhotmomm) July 31, 2019
21.
Can we stop screwing around and make Pringles cans big enough to fit an entire hand? We have the technology
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) August 1, 2019
22.
https://twitter.com/ambermruffin/status/1155255452025966592
23.
https://twitter.com/watsontots/status/1156683501426683904