23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week

While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.

DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us pee our pants. We do it because we like it.

1.

Me when a guy says he regularly goes to therapy pic.twitter.com/oEszluNhJj

— Julie Greiner (@JulieAbridged) August 19, 2019

2.

She was on a break https://t.co/W3sihPUWFF

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 20, 2019

3.

https://twitter.com/gIorifys/status/1162811870744580106

4.

Seems unfair that never in my life have I sat next to a hot person on a plane and yet every person who’s ever sat next to me has.

— claire parker (@SorryDontClaire) August 21, 2019

5.

Me to my friends: do not settle, be brave, ask for what you want!!!

Me as the waitress brings out the wrong order: looks perfect

— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 17, 2019

6.

https://twitter.com/HollyAnderson/status/1163823024287752192

7.

never asking her for a loan again pic.twitter.com/c5Xbf3NOWF

— aida (@shutupaida) August 16, 2019

8.

https://twitter.com/ambermruffin/status/1163616809796407300

9.

https://twitter.com/kittywenham/status/1163533450655219714

10.

Me: I'll just do it this weekend.

Also me: It's the weekend. I should relax. I'll just do it next week.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 18, 2019

11.

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go https://t.co/KAApOLeoBW

— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) August 16, 2019

12.

SSSSSSSSSomebody stop me! pic.twitter.com/geNIdvATVN

— Ghost Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) August 23, 2019

13.

https://twitter.com/Chinchillazllla/status/1164221062877519873

14.

https://twitter.com/crissymilazzo/status/1164239385870708737

15.

Can’t wait for Christian Girl Autumn. Gonna wear my uggs and do anal cause it doesn’t count.

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) August 18, 2019

16.

Me: dear god. Please destroy ICE and Amazon

God: yo I gotchu

God: *melts ice caps and starts burning the rainforest*

Me: wait no

— Baked Amanda (@theconradical) August 22, 2019

17.

https://twitter.com/_najab/status/1162502391737937920

18.

https://twitter.com/om_eye_goodness/status/1163358772636479490

19.

https://twitter.com/whynowhy/status/1164329468359565313

20.

https://twitter.com/MaggieMaeFish/status/1163565794854240256

21.

Just followed a stranger around for 3 blocks bc he was whistling the Robin Hood rooster’s song so well. Please rescue me when I inevitably, voluntarily join a cult someday

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) August 22, 2019

22.

Me, whispering and teary-eyed after reading the "Enjoy!" note at the end of my frozen dinner instructions: "Thank you, friend."

— Jessica Kane (@jesskane31) August 19, 2019

23.

hot girl summer is over, make way for crab boy winter. scuttle about sideways. wave that one terrible big claw around. disgusting

— Dee (@figgled) August 22, 2019

More funny tweets, memes, and pictures:

• Jerks Tried To Blackmail Whitney Cummings Over A Nip Slip Pic, So She Shared It Herself
• Rob Lowe’s Son Won’t Stop Roasting His Dad On Instagram
• 21 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week
• 37 Things People Started Saying As ‘Bits’ But Quickly Became Their Real Lingo
• Tweet About Recommended A/C Temps Sparks Heated Debate On Twitter