While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us pee our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
There is no heterosexual reason as to why Velma would know that sound is what Daphne makes. https://t.co/lIklLxPLuG
— KylaRen: Master of The Knights of Ren Fameaux (@kylaTea) August 29, 2019
2.
Accidentally used the dog's shampoo today, and I'm feeling like such a good girl.
— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) August 26, 2019
3.
My Target receipts
pic.twitter.com/pbSitTCj4n— Angie Thomas (@angiecthomas) August 27, 2019
4.
every time I step in sephora I get a new insecurity I’ve never heard of. oh this cream makes my skin less loud? oh holy shit. oh thank god
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) August 17, 2019
5.
every guy in 2019 after u sleep w them pic.twitter.com/M1hMUWNoC6
— mb xcx (@marybethbarone) August 27, 2019
6.
Meeting your boyfriend's ex pic.twitter.com/SeDyU5uuHR
— Anya Volz (@AnyaVolz) August 24, 2019
7.
"I literally didn't see your text until just now" pic.twitter.com/UNTfAHkgVA
— Maddie Connors (@personallyrich) August 29, 2019
8.
My neighbor across the street had a pumpkin plant take over his entire front yard. I asked him what fertilizer he used. “None! This was an accident from our jack o’ lantern.” Then like captain Ahab he stared into the distance and said, “I’ve just got to see this through.” pic.twitter.com/mQBI3Hbd8m
— Sonya Huber (@sonyahuber) August 27, 2019
9.
when u ask ur boyfriend to buy u tampons pic.twitter.com/FmcKUGGkrG
— Brogan (@broganpaget) August 25, 2019
10.
Doing my part to help out pic.twitter.com/26VjFy4VAD
— calista! (@calistagif) August 28, 2019
11.
Forever 21 sounds more like a witch’s curse than a clothing store.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 29, 2019
12.
when i see one (1) spider pic.twitter.com/0naDZovtOg
— sara david (@SaraQDavid) August 27, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/Party_Harderson/status/1166087651339853825
14.
a tropical storm BEARING MY MOTHER’S NAME is heading for the beach where my dad is supposed to get married this weekend
— Meaghan O'Connell (@meaghano) August 28, 2019
15.
sad lampshade making sad biscuits pic.twitter.com/ixx77K4tQM
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) August 28, 2019
16.
you stop worrying about tattoos looking stupid when you realise how embarrassing all bodies are. they’re horrid. all wet inside, got legs & arms dangling about the place. and do not get me started on teeth. so you might as well get that tattoo of betty white on a skateboard imo
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) August 27, 2019
17.
Boob owners listen
Small boob owners were often teased, compared to boys & feel too flat to be feminine/desirable
Big boob owners were often over sexualized, don’t fit popular fashion & feel too big to be fem/desirable
But we must unite to fight the real enemy: Climate change
— Gina (@ginadivittorio) August 26, 2019
18.
when characters in musicals transition from speaking to singing pic.twitter.com/YwZwsIZOBN
— chopped liva (@realchoppedliva) August 27, 2019
19.
guys what if the kool aid man is filled with blood
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) August 30, 2019
20.
The new all-white That’s So Raven remake looks TERRIBLE pic.twitter.com/Bj4qZNcJYB
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) August 26, 2019
21.
my pals think living in scotland is all beautiful rolling hills and friendly patter when in reality it’s a junkie shouting ‘ye goin for a shite hen?’ at me because i’m carrying a 16 roll pack of toilet roll
— Dayna McAlpine (@daynamcalpine_) August 23, 2019
More funny tweets, memes, and pictures:
- Jerks Tried To Blackmail Whitney Cummings Over A Nip Slip Pic, So She Shared It Herself
- Rob Lowe’s Son Won’t Stop Roasting His Dad On Instagram
- 21 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week
- 37 Things People Started Saying As ‘Bits’ But Quickly Became Their Real Lingo
- Tweet About Recommended A/C Temps Sparks Heated Debate On Twitter