Jason Mustian
While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Piss Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
https://twitter.com/gaileyfrey/status/1174506266762211328
2.
the last time i went to urgent care i checked off “excessive crying” on the symptom list and the nurse got really confused and told me that was meant for babies
— rachel yara (@bugposting) September 18, 2019
3.
https://twitter.com/chandlarschmidt/status/1174701015440003075
4.
https://twitter.com/theyloveNoonie/status/1174027301165490183
5.
6.
https://twitter.com/dani_g_3/status/1172013361736765441
7.
Ok it’s 1am, finally time to stop watching tv on my laptop and GO TO BED and watch tv on my phone
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) September 19, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/keeksdasneeaks/status/1173088209237970944
9.
Don’t have a bookmark? Try using a taco. (Actual photo of an actual book found in the book drop at my library in Indiana a few years back) pic.twitter.com/yU9jrKoFkF
— Amanda Mae (@miss_amandamae) September 14, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/CA_AUA/status/1173709770852900865
11.
https://twitter.com/eboybitch/status/1173631063328837632
12.
doctor doolittle is *the worst*, yet it contains cinema's greatest minute pic.twitter.com/nZRgY3Db9b
— Katie Stebbins (@_katiestebbins_) September 17, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/ELLASCHU/status/1173383379020132359
14.
15.
https://twitter.com/existentialkale/status/1174319734361395204
16.
https://twitter.com/GMPaiella/status/1173724327146950657
17.
Bryce Dallas Howard when Jessica Chastain arrived on the scene
https://t.co/mdSY2CsY72— Lizzie Molyneux (@LizzieMolyneux) September 18, 2019
18.
the phone camera arms race really overestimates the degree to which i want to see my own face in high definition
— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) September 19, 2019
19.
https://twitter.com/uhhmmily/status/1174489092928745472
20.
did you know Washington, D.C. is short for "washington is da capital"
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) September 17, 2019
21.
https://twitter.com/sageandrage/status/1174840406493847552
22.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
23.
a lunchable is charcuterie if you’re not a fucking classist
— dumb bitch media (@dumbbitchmedia) September 15, 2019