Mike
There were so many good tweets to choose from this week I found 15 pretty quickly. The worse the world looks, the funnier people get. Let’s all laugh the fear away together!
1.
dads be like “go help ur mother” bro go help ur wife
— gunass (@OBLOMOVITE) October 1, 2019
2.
Okay, let’s settle this once and for all: if Belle has sex with the Beast while he’s in Beastmode, is it bestiality?
— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis) October 3, 2019
3.
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?— brent (@murrman5) October 1, 2019
4.
[at a restaurant]
woman: and i’ll have that without cheese
me: *leaning my entire body into the waiters line of sight from a neighboring table* i’ll have her cheese— erin chack (@ErinChack) October 2, 2019
5.
It’s time to revive the legendary tweets pic.twitter.com/GJQgpjr2dW
— 🎃👻 Spooktine 👻🎃 (@little_paisano) October 1, 2019
6.
ladies & gentlemen, i present to you my dads halloween costume pic.twitter.com/E9mJ6zJwig
— ashlyn (@AshlynDanyela) September 30, 2019
7.
the fact that this is one of the funniest moments in cinematic history pic.twitter.com/NUp6unmELi
— Big Beowbz??? (@myskinsmylogo) October 1, 2019
8.
Me: should I just text him again?
everyone: https://t.co/7YHs9Sjhv5
— (@kayyorkcity) September 30, 2019
9.
me my bananas
slowly rotting in my house
— normal and relaxed (@InternetHippo) September 29, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/fuckDariuss/status/1177392466363744256
11.
REMINDER: Beginning October 1, clowns must be licensed and vaccinated.
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) October 1, 2019
12.
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) October 4, 2019
13.
guy: its beautiful. quick question tho why are their dicks so small
michelangelo: they aren’t small lol
guy:
michelangelo: [nervous] wait are they small
— randy corn (@leakypod) October 3, 2019
14.
Any 3 things can be a sandwich
— Jeff is Tall (@JeffisTallguy) October 1, 2019
15.
wife, giving birth: we have got to get to the hospital ASAP
me: who’s all gonna be there
— bad boy (@badboychadhoy) October 3, 2019