Mike
My first real experience at the DMV was my driving test. I almost hit a bicyclist who rolled through a stop sign. I started to panic thinking I failed, but the instructor just said “eh, fuck bikers. you’re fine.”
1.
I had to update my driver’s license photo at the DMV and I complained that I looked terrible in it and the guy said, “Lady, that’s literally exactly what you look like” and now my day is ruined.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 22, 2019
2.
Just heard somebody at the DMV say, “Since my liscense suspended don’t touch my mf organs”
— Tinman Burney 🤖 (@Charles_Burney) February 27, 2019
3.
been waiting at the DMV for an hour and a half and just watched a man remove his sandals and put the bottoms of his feet together and intertwine his toes like his feet were holding hands I just wanna go home
— kay (@kaydargs) June 26, 2018
4.
There’s a good reason why Ferris Bueller’s day off was about a teenager, and not a 40 year old man. Today I’m getting an oil change, emissions tested, and going to the DMV. I almost fell asleep typing that.
— Jeff (@tiredntweeten) June 13, 2019
5.
The dmv be like u forgot the Declaration of Independence
— bri (@snotnosedbratt) May 29, 2019
6.
I’m at the DMV, celebrating the one year anniversary of when I got in line.
— The Personification of Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) October 25, 2018
7.
Just walked into the DMV saw the ambiance & left. They gonna have to just take me to jail I work too hard to be in that environment.
— Vince Staples (@vincestaples) May 16, 2018
8.
Ladies at the dmv telling me I don’t have the right paperwork after I sat there waiting for 5 hours pic.twitter.com/6VYzax6vCx
— boo boo the fool🦋 (@holden_a_fork) September 20, 2018
9.
God is everywhere. Except the DMV. There you’re on your own.
— Josh Peck (@ItsJoshPeck) October 27, 2016
10.
“This system is so kafkaesque,” I murmured knowingly to the woman standing next to me at the DMV. Very rudely she did not remove her headphones. “This system is so kafkaesque!” I exclaimed again, slightly louder.
— AUTHOR In Your MFA (@GuyInYourMFA) August 17, 2019
11.
Me: hi
Lady working at the DMV: pic.twitter.com/zEClMnUmny— big sean slander account (@hancockonetwo) May 22, 2019
12.
I was at the DMV and I gave the worker my birth certificate and she said she couldn’t accept it because it was ripped. Um… I am 43-years-old, I am surprised my birth certificate hasn’t disintegrated. Dmvfuckery is the worst.
— Christopher Bouzy (@cbouzy) March 18, 2019
13.
At the DMV with a 2 year old and a new baby. Both of whom have been excellent and well-behaved for over an hour, but they just started crying at the same time.
Woman just asked me to “do something, cuz they’re bothering other people.”
So I did something.
Told her to fuck off.— Emily Greene (@EmAsInMoney) April 3, 2019
14.
At the DMV and thinking of how iconic my grandfather was because he used to memorize the letters on the vision exam and pretend he could see
— Destiny (@_chismosa_) August 19, 2019
15.
I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license.
— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) July 29, 2014
16.
This kid had on goggles at the DMV yesterday. I really didn’t know what to think of it so I decided to take a photo. pic.twitter.com/4fSkux6ycq
— J (@JackJ) May 3, 2014
17.
Every parking spot at the DMV should be a parallel parking spot. If you can’t do it, come back when you can.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) October 4, 2012