My first real experience at the DMV was my driving test. I almost hit a bicyclist who rolled through a stop sign. I started to panic thinking I failed, but the instructor just said “eh, fuck bikers. you’re fine.”
I had to update my driver’s license photo at the DMV and I complained that I looked terrible in it and the guy said, “Lady, that’s literally exactly what you look like” and now my day is ruined.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 22, 2019
Just heard somebody at the DMV say, “Since my liscense suspended don’t touch my mf organs”
— Tinman Burney 🤖 (@Charles_Burney) February 27, 2019
been waiting at the DMV for an hour and a half and just watched a man remove his sandals and put the bottoms of his feet together and intertwine his toes like his feet were holding hands I just wanna go home
— kay (@kaydargs) June 26, 2018
There’s a good reason why Ferris Bueller’s day off was about a teenager, and not a 40 year old man. Today I’m getting an oil change, emissions tested, and going to the DMV. I almost fell asleep typing that.
— Jeff (@tiredntweeten) June 13, 2019
The dmv be like u forgot the Declaration of Independence
— bri (@snotnosedbratt) May 29, 2019
I’m at the DMV, celebrating the one year anniversary of when I got in line.
— The Personification of Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) October 25, 2018
Just walked into the DMV saw the ambiance & left. They gonna have to just take me to jail I work too hard to be in that environment.
— Vince Staples (@vincestaples) May 16, 2018
Ladies at the dmv telling me I don’t have the right paperwork after I sat there waiting for 5 hours pic.twitter.com/6VYzax6vCx
— boo boo the fool🦋 (@holden_a_fork) September 20, 2018
God is everywhere. Except the DMV. There you’re on your own.
— Josh Peck (@ItsJoshPeck) October 27, 2016
“This system is so kafkaesque,” I murmured knowingly to the woman standing next to me at the DMV. Very rudely she did not remove her headphones. “This system is so kafkaesque!” I exclaimed again, slightly louder.
— AUTHOR In Your MFA (@GuyInYourMFA) August 17, 2019
Lady working at the DMV: pic.twitter.com/zEClMnUmny
— big sean slander account (@hancockonetwo) May 22, 2019
I was at the DMV and I gave the worker my birth certificate and she said she couldn’t accept it because it was ripped. Um… I am 43-years-old, I am surprised my birth certificate hasn’t disintegrated. Dmvfuckery is the worst.
— Christopher Bouzy (@cbouzy) March 18, 2019
At the DMV with a 2 year old and a new baby. Both of whom have been excellent and well-behaved for over an hour, but they just started crying at the same time.
Woman just asked me to “do something, cuz they’re bothering other people.”
So I did something.
Told her to fuck off.
— Emily Greene (@EmAsInMoney) April 3, 2019
At the DMV and thinking of how iconic my grandfather was because he used to memorize the letters on the vision exam and pretend he could see
— Destiny (@_chismosa_) August 19, 2019
I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license.
— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) July 29, 2014
This kid had on goggles at the DMV yesterday. I really didn’t know what to think of it so I decided to take a photo. pic.twitter.com/4fSkux6ycq
— J (@JackJ) May 3, 2014
Every parking spot at the DMV should be a parallel parking spot. If you can’t do it, come back when you can.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) October 4, 2012