Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) is a standup comedian based out of Vancouver, BC. He’s every bit as funny online as he is in person. I’ve known Dan for years and he is one of the most delightful human beings I’ve had the pleasure to hang out with.
Here is the one-sentence bio Dan gave: Dan Duvall is a comedian, writer, and producer who accidentally spelled laser wrong when creating his Twitter account.
He’s also the host of a great podcast called The Hate Locker, part of the @ComedyHereOften podcast family on @604Records. And if you’re a big Twitter fan, you can watch Dan’s documentary Funny Tweets for free on Amazon Prime.
PJ: What Particular mental illness made you want to put yourself out there on the internet?
Haha. I know you’re kind of kidding… BUT… I definitely see humour, especially in my younger self as a defense mechanism. I was insecure and needed to reach outside myself for validation constantly. Twitter was a great way to do that. I WAS ADDICTED TO THE LIKES (And also drugs and alcohol. I’m about 2 years clean and sober now). That being said… I’ve always loved making people laugh. I was the class clown in school, of course and at the time when Twitter came out, I was making funny posts on Facebook (Spoiler alert: They all started with “is”). Someone told me I should get twitter and I was like nah… twitter is lame. Haha. Then a few months later I was hungover watching day time sports center and figured I’d sign up to follow hockey analysts to get an edge in my fantasy hockey league, since none of my buddies had accounts. I finished last in my league that year, but the decision to get Twitter changed my life. At the time I was a pharmacy tech, but as my account got popular, I started getting freelance writing jobs in advertising, for feature film punch-ups and even got my own animated short on Cartoon Network Canada! Fast Forward about a decade later and I’m starting to make a living doing standup, I have a podcast called The Hatelocker on 604 Records’ Comedy Here Often network. I Co-Host it with my sister and it’s a blast. It’s amazing to have such a fun working relationship with her at this point in my life because when I was drinking, we didn’t get to have that. It means the world to me. These days I don’t struggle with mental illness as much as I once did and I usually have a stronger sense of self which allows me to do comedy and make people laugh for the right reasons… because I love doing it and not because I’m sad and, or screaming inside! Hurray!
Ultimately I’m grateful for everything I’ve been through including the struggles and the years of being lost… Using the internet to quiet my demons because it’s been a part of recognizing those demons and being able to find my identity as a comedian. And more importantly as a brother, a son, a friend and to have a healthy relationship with myself in my own skin. Also dick jokes and whatnot… Sorry I forgot this was supposed to be funny. NEXT QUESTION.
PJ: What’s the creepiest DM you’ve ever gotten from a fan?
Well I’ve never really gotten a “creepy” DM from one of MY fans, but there is this weird thing that does happen sometimes with celebrity fans. This actress named Holland Roden follows me. She was on Teen Wolf I think? Anyway, apparently she has literally a million teenagers in Europe following her and every now and then one of them will DM me (My DMs are open) and ask me to set up a group chat with me, them and Holland and then have me exit the chat leaving them to just DM her… like some kind of insane DM trap. At one point I was getting these
requests every single day and I would try to explain to these kids why that is invasive and insane and how this woman is just a human being and to try not to hold anyone on such a pedestal but I eventually realized that teenagers are idiots so now I just ignore them. What a wild place the internet is… like does that ever work?! Has anyone ever agreed to do that?! I mean it’s kind of a clever idea I guess but fuckin yikes. If you’re reading this, celebrity DM’s are not a bank heist and you are not Danny Ocean. Just live your damn life.
PJ: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, alive or dead, who would it be or would you just eat 2 dinners by yourself?
Oh that’s a tough one… I never got to meet either of my grandfathers so my instinct is to pick one of them or maybe my friend Orrie who passed away this year. BUT… I love to party and have a weird thing where I for some reason love the smell of gasoline so I think I’d have to go with Kidd Rock. And you can bet your ass I’m relapsing that night. Final answer.
PJ: Do you think you need to have had a messed up childhood to be funny?
Nah. I had a pretty normal childhood. I just think you need to be kinda bad at feeling feelings… Like I only cry at happy things. Sad things make me crack jokes. At least those are my default settings. I’m working on it! That being said… I don’t think it hurts to have your dad be a serial killer or something? I dunno.
PJ: What was your introduction to comedy?
The movies Three Amigos and Monty Python’s Holy Grail (I have the trojan rabbit tattooed on my ribs). Also Robin Williams who was a hero, Adam Sandler’s sketch album in my early teens and the movie Drop Dead Fred as well. As far as Twitter goes Rob Delaney was a big inspiration to start writing jokes.
And now…THE TWEETS!
My mom has a podcast but you can only hear it if you have the password to my voicemail
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) July 17, 2018
I love my goth son Tyler but he will only eat Raven Bran cereal for breakfast and it is very rare and expensive
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) July 24, 2016
My girlfriend’s been at a baby shower for like 3 hours that baby’s gotta be so fucking clean by now what the fuck are they even doing
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 22, 2017
*bursts into starbucks*
Me: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A POWER OUTLET
Barista: yeah over there
Me: oh thank god
*plugs in a mechanical bull*
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 29, 2015
At first I was annoyed when the guy at 7/11 called me “boss” but I guess when you work at 7/11 everyone is kind of your boss
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) June 1, 2014
I’m just glad bees aren’t around to see how fucked up everything is
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 6, 2017
So sad that kids today spend so much time online. When we were kids we were always outside throwing rocks at one another, shoplifting at the mall, trying drugs… one time I drank gasoline.
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) March 10, 2018
(on a first date)
you know if you shave a Guinea pig they look like tiny hippos
*with way too much food in my mouth*
they hate it though
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) August 9, 2016
Went to my uncle’s funeral today open bar pretty good food but my uncle was dead 3/5 stars
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) February 4, 2016
*on a first date*
Her: so nice to finally be out with someone normal
Me: aw thanks
*turns to the waiter*
Me: do you have pony meat
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) February 28, 2017
*Tries to pet the K-9 unit dogs while I’m hiding from them under a car in a parking lot*
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 4, 2015
I want a kiss cam at my funeral
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 2, 2016
I bought “extra whitening” toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 20, 2014
Woman are so emotional
*throws a garbage can through my tv because a hockey team lost*
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 19, 2014
Accidentally got a “male” order bride and I was gonna return him but Sergei is just so good with my kids
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) March 11, 2015