Just like some other countries have a mandatory 2 years of military service required of its citizens, Americans should have to work as servers for at least 6 months. I think we’d have a lot fewer assholes. No one who is rude to a server has ever worked in the service industry. It’s because once you have, you know just how much it takes out of you. So, the next time you’re thinking to yourself, “this server seems kinda rude,” maybe cut them some slack. Their feet hurt, they have to take shit from rude people, and the last 3 tables stiffed them on the tip.
1. Talk to your parents about not being stingy assholes.
2. There are no stupid questions?
3. You might be getting mad at these, but I’ve been a server and this happens all the time.
4. Where was I?
5. Out of the way!
6. The rules are basically a game of telephone.
7. Yeah, I’m gonna need you to open and close for the next month.
8. Hugh Jackman is going to come in and tip me $500 and ask if I want to be the new Wolverine.
9. Sometime between 3 and 11.
10. Yes, I vacuumed!
11. Fuck you, Brian.
12. Is this guy even the “Badboy of Soup”?
13. Makes sense.
14. Hope you don’t mind eating spit.
15. I’ll burn this place down.