Mike
2019 has been a wild ride. A rollercoaster ride. Like, a rollercoaster ride where no one has been inspecting the machinery and it goes off the rails and crashes into the funhouse. But no matter how bad it got, the jokes kept coming. In fact, seems like the worse it got the more and better the jokes got. Weird. Almost like comedy is the coping mechanism of the masses.
Also, I paginated at 50 so this loads easier. Please don’t burn me in the town square.
1.
Me leaving the house without eating breakfast, dehydrated, and with 2 hours of sleep pic.twitter.com/jvYom7Wy07
— Lil $us (@heyyy_sus) March 4, 2019
2.
Today I thought I saw a woman dressed as a handmaid about to jump from a building. I called 911. pic.twitter.com/EIrz6wR0bz
— Casey McCormick (@itsmeCaseyMc) May 21, 2019
3.
Nobody:
Nobody at all:
My mother looking for something to complain about: pic.twitter.com/tUdcYFyoJu
— Don ChuLo° (@famousmsft) May 15, 2019
4.
tired of these mfs pic.twitter.com/NX6G3I2TMi
— Dick Foo (@DickFooDog) July 16, 2019
5.
Therapist: And what do we say when we feel like this?
Me: It be like that sometimes
Therapist: No
— Sabrina (@stfu_sabs) July 8, 2019
6.
Uber driver: ……….
Me: ………..
Uber driver: …………
Me: ………….
Uber driver: ………….
Me: …………….
Uber driver: …………….
Me: ………………
Uber driver: you have arrived
Me: 5 Stars
— evil (@evilbart24) August 13, 2019
7.
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as a white man on the Internet
— Qlayre (@thisisqlayre) January 23, 2019
8.
Mom: “Come help me get the groceries out of the car”
Me: pic.twitter.com/kR5yvvMqU7
— IG: _ ✨ (@anesuishec) January 14, 2019
9.
Me cooking pasta for one pic.twitter.com/wvQ0AJKin9
— Wez (@Big_Wezza) August 3, 2019
10.
Me, opening my eyes to see I have two minutes left before my alarm clock goes off: pic.twitter.com/LCtGclewhB
— (((Sᴄʀᴜ̈ᴇɢɢS))) (@scrueggs) October 10, 2019
11.
me after using “furthermore” in an essay https://t.co/Ml3zq3hsUv
— jaedon (@hurttfuI) October 28, 2019
12.
Saw a thicc ass starfish at the aquarium today pic.twitter.com/NwF0xYabHQ
— あかり(AKARI) (@Babyshoujo) June 30, 2019
13.
So it was my cousins 3rd birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this pic.twitter.com/U3FYpeGKTM
— ANDREA (@dreeaaxo_) June 5, 2019
14.
my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling pic.twitter.com/Q3emyEDxgN
— royse (@Roysenotes) April 15, 2019
15.
Nobody:
The waiter at Olive Garden: pic.twitter.com/DlG71Ug65l
— мåɾℓєиå. ♀️ (@lenarios27) November 11, 2019
16.
let her perform her spells in peace https://t.co/DFA1GxTvZu
— alex (they/them) (@alxjasper) March 5, 2019
17.
He
Sent
Her
A
Meme
On
But
She
Already
Saw
It
On– Rupi Kaur
— Azeem (@_azeem87) April 6, 2019
18.
I just want everyone to know that my two-year old insisted on being “pants” for Halloween… pic.twitter.com/ONR7K4AxnY
— Jeffrey Bien (@jungleland) October 31, 2019
19.
who tf came into the store and did this pic.twitter.com/iLqLpEjNvb
— dijahsb.com (@DijahSB) November 21, 2019
20.
My money as soon as I earn it pic.twitter.com/WDoKTrploP
— Dak (@RidiculousDak) June 28, 2019
21.
Me getting ready for the outing i said yes to pic.twitter.com/yjKKmTE2LD
— Emeka (@emekanu) September 4, 2019
22.
This is what an updated Home Alone would actually look like. pic.twitter.com/sGj86933LA
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) August 7, 2019
23.
Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity pic.twitter.com/2ly0zsoAw6
— Emma (@CampbellxEmma) September 29, 2019
24.
okay…hear me out pic.twitter.com/7WpKxiYw2B
— Dom (@domcorona_) July 5, 2019
25.
“I work well under pressure”
me under pressure: https://t.co/JuHcjwIwpB
— اُمامہ (@umamahaziz) December 3, 2019
26.
When you’re on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up pic.twitter.com/6eqjK4yp4F
— ☃️ (@dalysluna) February 10, 2019
27.
Met Gala: the theme is camp
Me: pic.twitter.com/lD0h9smVkn
— cillian (@justchillian_) May 6, 2019
28.
This is sending me pic.twitter.com/Nzs9NjRcxF
— Lesbian Peach (@spacelezbian) November 3, 2019
29.
The most important thing you’ll see today pic.twitter.com/3PY6tPj5Ls
— Dirt Road Queen ♡ (@DirtRoadQueen__) March 29, 2019
31.
idk what the cat is going through but same pic.twitter.com/tHSaLGrFnF
— Wajed Ahmed (@borderlineyikes) September 7, 2019
32.
My niece has her bird trained to attack anyone she screams at pic.twitter.com/ea0JoWMNrT
— NCAA Youngboy (@Apex_sH) April 30, 2019
33.
Y’all….. why would my kid say this pic.twitter.com/c8u41FQdBl
— (@elameeee) December 3, 2019
34.
My grandma told me she stopped smoking pic.twitter.com/J3kEjk0tSC
— bailey ratliff (@Bailey_Ratliff) August 29, 2019
35.
The shit I have to deal with♀️ pic.twitter.com/fMc6cUeBj2
— χισмαяα (@xiomara_gomez18) April 21, 2019
36.
(i can’t believe i actually downloaded this app) but guys i found the holy grail of tiktoks and i’m crying pic.twitter.com/WFlBPQlB5w
— sage ☀️ (@sagerosemrythym) January 14, 2019
37.
So you calling my mom a liar?!?! https://t.co/SfQJZOvRZW
— Kyle (@kkunta__) January 25, 2019
38.
all 6 of my brain cells assembling so I can spell necessary pic.twitter.com/EmiAV5OMV6
— ️ (@kftwt) March 5, 2019
39.
When you’re walking past the aisles at Walmart and finally see your mom pic.twitter.com/t7IdBjka7B
— Dak (@RidiculousDak) August 9, 2019
40.
me: “why does my back always hurt?”
my sleeping position: https://t.co/gsbyflNIUl
— ♔ (@clearily) October 30, 2019
41.
Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting “here”
— joven (@youngandjoven) June 3, 2019
42.
my mom comin back in my room and finding me sleeping 5 mins after she woke me up pic.twitter.com/yrcto6AKD2
— mo (@MODE279) January 13, 2019
43.
I saw a girl post her Spotify top artists on her Instagram story with the caption “so accurate”. Like yeah it’s accurate… it’s literally data
— (@manster_mash) December 5, 2019
44.
Babies stare a lot for someone who doesn’t know how to fight https://t.co/gN0KUtDPjp
— cohl (@kohlw0rld) March 11, 2019
45.
my conversations w literally anyone:
⚪️⚪️
⚪️⚪️
— ky ⚔️ (@urdadkylie) February 5, 2019
46.
“you think you
can do these
things nemo
but you just
can’t!” pic.twitter.com/Er7GMVupY4— Lauren || FEB 28TH (@Avonleaambition) June 5, 2019
47.
I think my mom found the best use for this new filter pic.twitter.com/AbqxkteXCw
— Rachel Webb (@tacopoop23) May 16, 2019
48.
me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride pic.twitter.com/ZtXpLaV05s
— Eva Victor (@evaandheriud) June 4, 2019
49.
almost 22 years ago 2 people had sex and now i have to go to work everyday
— bam its sam✨ (@saaamscottt6) October 16, 2019
50.
Doctor: ”Okay, so what’s wrong with you today?”
Me: *Turns to my mom* pic.twitter.com/hPGXt6xHFM
— ѕнα∂ყ™ ➐ (@6illeh) December 3, 2019