Mike
As we slog our way through the holiday taint between Christmas and New Year’s, going into work each day and not doing a god damn thing, we turn to distractions to pass the time. Tweets, memes, this gif of a chimp:
I hope the New Year brings you everything you’ve ever wanted and more.
1.
Whenever I hear my dog let out a deep sigh, I’m reminded that no one is immune to the struggle.
— Naomi Ekperigin (@Blacktress) December 27, 2019
2.
I’ve rewatched this 2793 times just to see them kiss pic.twitter.com/wGjMiDqxma
— May (@papreeeeka) December 26, 2019
3.
the way my (blind) dog “looks” back at my parents when she realizes she got a big bone for christmas is so pic.twitter.com/A5cDnNvDC8
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) December 25, 2019
4.
None of the kids wanted toys for Christmas this year, they just wanted cash. Understandable, but cash as a gift, while practical, always feels impersonal, so I made special packaging. Went over well pic.twitter.com/urXVCHtDyW
— Donnachaidha O’Chionnaigh (@TwoClawsMedia) December 26, 2019
5.
Dad testing out the grip on his new crocs pic.twitter.com/kPQuTsmc9p
— Zac Alsop (@zacalsopp) December 25, 2019
6.
i dont want a job i just want to rotate slowly under a warm light like a 7-eleven hot dog
— (@6969_6969696969) December 25, 2019
7.
using gift cards from last year to buy christmas gifts for this year pic.twitter.com/hRcfEti8Cq
— Mose Bergmann (@bosemergmann) December 25, 2019
8.
Just finished sanding my tires so that my car will ride smoother on the interstate and honestly I kind of love this look pic.twitter.com/3uMoucwgEO
— ali (@alifanacct) December 22, 2019
9.
who among us can resist the allure of a tablespoon of plain-ass flour? pic.twitter.com/OOvxa8si4b
— ◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢ (@monosynth) December 26, 2019
10.
last night i was visited by three ghosts who just beat the fucking piss out of me and left. they didn’t teach me shit
— josh (@josh_fbi) December 25, 2019
11.
First snow fall pic.twitter.com/KAnFWxwOUw
— Cute Emergency (@CuteEmergency) December 23, 2019
12.
my fiancé and I started a baby jar & every time someone asks when we’re going to have kids we put a dollar in & when the jar is full we will spend it on whatever we want bc we don’t have kids
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) December 22, 2019
13.
first wiseman: i brought you gold
second wiseman: i brought you frankincense
third wiseman: i brought you myrrh
fourth wiseman: i made you these jorts myself
mary: [to the guy writing the bible] don’t write that last one down
— preston whaleiams (@PrestoVision) December 24, 2019
14.
Deep Space Nine is 0% coy about the purpose of the holodeck. Next Generation is like “in the holodeck, you may well find adventure…or even love ;)” and deep space nine is like “welcome to Quark’s Klingon Fisting Fiesta, squeegee not provided, no refunds”
— Ryan Boyd (@ryandroyd) December 26, 2019
15.
Sensible ducks reserve the right to change their minds.#mondaythoughts pic.twitter.com/oTKfDzoct0
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) December 23, 2019