5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today | January 6, 2020

Keeping up with the news is a full-time job. And not a very fun one! But you gotta at least pretend to know a few things so you don’t look like a buffoon while making small-talk at work or during happy hour. These are those things!

1. Ricky Gervais pulled no punches at the Golden Globes.

While I’ve never been a huge fan of awards shows, I have grown fond of Ricky Gervais’ brand of making everyone in the room uncomfortable.

Last night he did just that, basically calling out Hollywood for being fake woke.

“You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything,” Gervais told the audience. “You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up accept your little award, thank your agent, and your god and f*** off.”

If you’ve got 8 minutes, you can watch the full monologue here.

Oh, and the big winners of the night were Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (Best Picture) and Tom Hanks for his epic portrayal of Mr. Rogers.

2. Trump is now using Twitter to inform Congress on attacks against Iran.

Quick politics break! Everyone’s favorite.

Trump informed Congress on Sunday that his personal Twitter account will serve as a notification for potential military action against Iran.

“These Media Posts will serve as notification to the United States Congress that should Iran strike any U.S. person or target, the United States will quickly & fully strike back, & perhaps in a disproportionate manner,” Trump wrote. “Such legal notice is not required, but is given nevertheless!”

The unprecedented proclamation comes as tensions between the two countries escalate following the death of top Iranian general Qasem Soleimani. The military leader was killed after being hit with a U.S. airstrike in Baghdad on Friday, and thus ushering in fears of WWIII and, yes, WW3 Memes.

3. An Instagram model raised more than $100K for Australian brushfires by offering to send nudes to people who donate.

In case you’re not up to speed on your international news (and no one blames you, I usually am not), Australia is basically on fire right now.

Bushfires have utterly ravaged New South ales and surrounding areas, killing 24 people, nearly a half a billion animals, destroying 1,500 homes, and leaving more than 3.6 million hectares of land in ashes.

So yea. Not awesome. What is awesome though is that Instagram influencer Kaylen Ward decided to do something to help victims. Offering to send nudes directly to anyone who donates $10 or more to the cause. At press time, that is over 10,000 people, meaning she raised over $100K to help.

If you want to donate to the cause, whether you get n00ds or not, here are eight ways you can do that.

4. People are trolling ‘gun girl’ with World War 3 jokes.

Okay, some of these things you need to know are gonna be political. Deal with it.

For Kaitlin “gun girl” Bennett, Twitter users think it is finally her time to shine–on the frontlines of war, should the conflict with Iran escalate to that point.

“The first overall pick in the World War 3 draft out of Kent State University goes to Kaitlin Bennett,” Twitter user @kcd134 wrote in a now-viral tweet.

 

 

 

I guess I’m just glad we live in a world where hot women are being harassed online for something other than sending n000ds.

5. Kylie Jenner deletes Instagram photo after being accused of cultural appropriation.

The Kardashian-Jenner clan is starting the new decade with more cultural appropriation allegations. Only a few days into 2020, Kylie Jenner is already taking heat online for posting a photo of herself rocking twists, a Black hairstyle.

I’ll just drop this here and let everyone be the judge.

Kylie has also been accused of appropriating Jedi culture.

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Jason

Jason Mustian

Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids.