Jason Mustian
Keeping up with the news is a full-time job. And not a very fun one! But learning about a few things going on in the world today can’t hurt — if for no other reason than having something to make awkward-small talk about at your office or during happy hour!
These are some things we think it mostly can’t hurt knowing today:
1. Spotify wants to make a playlist for your pet.
Music streaming platform Spotify is offering a new service that will generate unique playlists for your pets.
https://twitter.com/SpotifyNews/status/1217431342910144512
A new website called “Pet Playlists” lets users log in and generate a series of songs for either their dog, cat, hamster, bird, or iguana.
To do so, users must first answer a series of questions that help define their pet’s personality. Options include terms such as “apathetic or curious” and “shy or friendly.” Once finished, users can add their pet’s name and photo and receive their playlist.
Kinda cool, but also I can’t help but think about this:
2. Russia’s prime minister – and his entire cabinet – just quit, but not in a protest kind of way..
Yesterday, Russian President Vladimir Putin gave his annual address to the country. In it, he proposed sweeping changes to Russia’s constitution.
Like moving a ton of power from the president to the parliament. That includes giving parliament the power to pick Russia’s next prime minister…as well as the entire cabinet. Putin says these are democratic reforms.
It’s a shrewd move. That’s because Putin’s term ends in 2024, and he can’t run for president again. But with the changes, Putin can lay the groundwork for parliament to potentially pick him as Russia’s next prime minister. It’s a position that these changes could make more powerful than the president.
Putin’s protégé, Dimitriy Medvedev is moving aside from the PM job to serve as head of Russia’s Security Council, which could allow Putin to step in as PM and call the shots.
So that’s pretty much all I know about Russian politics. That and this classic press conference interrupted by flying dildo-copters.
https://giphy.com/gifs/UR8GggmzFNIWs
3. Build-A-Bear is making a Baby Yoda toy.
Oh yea, we do “soft news” here at PJ, both literally and figuratively. And what could be softer than Build-A-Bear CEO Sharon Price-John announcing that the company will be releasing a cute little Baby Yoda plush?
“I’m excited to share we will be one of the first companies to provide the digital and internet phenomenon who is trending higher than all the presidential candidates combined,” said Prince-John.
The toy won’t be available until May, but you can pre-order here.
4. Rain finally hits Australia, helping to extinguish 32 bushfires.
Firefighters in Australia will receive at least some respite after heavy rain in New South Wales helped to extinguish 32 bushfires, bringing the total number of blazes down from 120 to 88 as of Thursday morning according to the Daily Mail.
5. Ja Rule wants you to let his company handle your taxes because of course, he does.
Most people wouldn’t start a tax company after being associated with one of the most spectacular frauds of the century.
Ja Rule isn’t like most people.
The rapper surged out of the relative anonymity last year as a central player in the 2017 Fyre Festival musical festival debacle which was immortalized in two competing documentaries from Netflix and Hulu.
Not content to drift back into nostalgic obscurity, Ja Rule returned to the public eye on Tuesday with another suspect business proposition: Ja Rule is getting into the tax game.
It’s TAX SEASON!!! And we’re giving you $100 when you walk in the door!!! let us do your taxes walk out with $100 it’s that simple!!! Not in Jersey no problem give use a call… 973.732.9104 Value Tax 810 Clinton ave… https://t.co/eLJGLbxVPX
— Ja Rule (@jarule) January 12, 2020
Before the Fyre Festival debacle, Ja Rule famously served a 28-month prison sentence for tax evasion in 2011 and his IRS troubles reportedly persist to this day.
https://twitter.com/AvinashTharoor/status/1217186170322522113
Some might argue that all of this experience with the wrong side of tax law makes him the ideal spokesman for such an endeavor. I would argue that if rappers are going to do my taxes I’m going to need it to be the Wu-Tang Clan, cause C.R.E.A.M get the money, dolla-dolla bill y’all.
More worthy LINKZ:
- Tortoise Believed Extinct For 100 Years Reemerge In Galápagos – NedHardy
- This Is How Much Money Porn Stars Really Make – VICE
- Mapping Filthy Rich Families Around the World – How Much
- I Put These Fan Timers In My Bathroom So I Can (1) Not Make It Smell Like Shit And (2) Not Have To Remember To Go Turn The Fan Off After I Take A Shit – Amazon
- This Woman On Twitter Edits People’s Toxic Exes Out Of Photos For $15 – Ruin My Week