The Future Is Now (15 New-Age Ideas)

I know we all thought we’d be flying around with jetpacks and eating food in pill form by now, but there are still some pretty great improvements to society rolling out in 2020. I mean, I still want to be able to get that affordable jetpack by 2022, but these will do for now.

1. A stoplight with a countdown clock until the next light change, because patience is not a thing anymore.

2. This bar rewards folks who decided not to drive home drunk.

3. Slightly less likely to lose you AirPods with this.

4. The all-in-one…Kspork? Fspooknife? This thing.

5. Face down, ass up, that’s the way you used to plug things in behind the couch.

6. Now you can see how much time is left before you have to go to work from any angle.

7. Maybe still put your blades up.

8. Do a flip, coward.

9. Electronic hangers that display size and price and probably explode if you try to leave the store with them.

10. Boat with a place for underwater views of that rock you’re going to hit.

11. Random number display so no one behind you can guess your PIN. Although, I like to spice my day up by always accusing the person behind me of looking at my PIN.

12. Toaster with “A bit more” button. Brilliant.

13. Glow in the dark stairwell stickers so you don’t trip running from zombies after the apocalypse.

14. A chocolate spoon? We should’ve been doing this years ago.

15. A store with a mini obstacle course to test your hiking shoes if you live in a lame treehouse.

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Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome