11.
Closure is so important!!! Just submitted my ex’s personal info to the Scientology recruitment website and I honestly feel so much better ❤️🙌
— carolyn (@ballerguy) May 2, 2020
12.
13.
girl: I'm having heart surgery
kim jong un: it's ok, i'll be here after your surgery
(girl wakes up after surgery and sees a nurse)
girl: where is kim jong un? he said he'd be here!
nurse: who do you think gave you that heart— kt (owns a gun) (@kochsister) April 25, 2020
14.
i love being a writer but it’s also a little bit like being a loser
— aria aber (@AriaAber) May 1, 2020
15.
16.
Why do men call me sexist ? how can I be sexist when I literally have a father and a brother . Think before you speak
— gov michaela (@MichaelaOkla) April 30, 2020
17.
18.
when the cat snuggles my bf: this is fine, she is an animal wildly careening from warm spot to warm spot. her choices hold little weight. i will not take this personally
when the cat snuggles me: eat SHIT idiots i got PICKED
— CapriCornyCait♑️ (@CapriCornyCait) May 2, 2020