Hannah
It’s already Mother’s Day which means we’ve now been in lockdown for almost 2 years now. Hopefully, everyone found time in their busy days of moving back and forth from the couch to the fridge to call their mom and tell her you love her. If you’re still looking to put that off, go ahead and read these 23 tweets from funny women this week and be sure to head to twitter and follow some of these lovely ladies for more awesome jokes.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
Just saw a headline about McGraw-Hill which reminds me that when I was a kid I thought Tim McGraw and Faith Hill made textbooks when they weren't on tour
— T Kira Madden (@tkiramadden) May 4, 2020
2.
delete a letter of his name from your contacts everytime he makes you upset. when his names gone, he’s gone. hangman that mf.
— zsdrillaaa (@zinubsid) May 9, 2020
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Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a fish a man and he eats for a week.
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) May 3, 2020
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someone told me I need to “get out of my head,” and like okay but where else am I gonna go? All the bars and restaurants are closed.
— Allison P Davis (@AllisonPDavis) May 5, 2020
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guys from high school will message you on Facebook and be like “seems like you’re really killing it! congrats on killing it”
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) May 2, 2020
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Toxic Shock Syndrome ended up being way less of a thing than Seventeen Magazine led me to believe it would be
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) May 3, 2020
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ppl b like “it’s gonna get better on season 8!”
— telyani (@somalidolly) May 4, 2020
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I used 6,000 N95 masks to spell out "THANK U HEROES!!!!!" on the beach then lit them on fire so nurses all over the world could see ♥️
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 7, 2020