Sucks To Be You, Bro (20 Fails)

Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” but the problem is, none of us are that great. You tried, but failed, and that’s okay. You’ll get ’em next time!

1. Cat – 1 Human – 0

2. That pothole came out of nowhere.

3. If a tree falls on a car does it make a noise?

4. A quarantine birthday cake.

5. Extra frosting will fix this.

6. A screen as cracked as the skin on my hands.

7. I guess I wanted 3 bananas.

8. You’ve heard of pheasant under glass…

9. “Extra crust please”

10. Paved on a Friday.

11. One way to catch a virus while preventing another.

12. Well, it’s definitely special.

13. “No pepperoni but please drop it on the floor a few times.”

14. She wanted a bird’s-eye view.

15. “I really have to go!”

16. You had one job.

17. Just leave the ladder.

18. More melon than water.

19. A different type of dick pic.

20. At least you can ask for new glasses now.


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Nate Armbruster

Nate Armbruster is a stand-up comedian and writer based in Chicago who is likely writing a joke as you read this. Find him online at natecomedy.com.