Everyone is so bored in quarantine, the only thing to do is scroll on social media or cut your own hair. I definitely advise against the second one, but thankfully these hilarious ladies are using their cabin fever to keep pumping out funny tweets for us.
So as promised, here are some tweets from women we scrolled past and wished we had thought of ourselves.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
i know my friends are hot bc any time we take a pic it looks like i won a raffle contest to meet them
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) May 20, 2020
2.
Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law. It took half a century but Hippies finally won.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) May 16, 2020
3.
americans are treating coronavirus like I treat my period— pretending it’s finished when it is obviously not!
— ziwe (@ziwe) May 19, 2020
4.
5.
Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law. It took half a century but Hippies finally won.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) May 16, 2020
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7.
My plans 2020 pic.twitter.com/BTADG7efam
— em (@girlfr0g) May 23, 2020
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9.
People are like “how are these people refusing to wear masks in stores” but when I worked in retail people would regularly take a dump in the dressing rooms so what I’m saying is maybe lower your expectations for humanity
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) May 19, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/xoxo_riya/status/1262555393512869888
11.
12.
Me: I hate drama.
Also me: Reads all 258 comments on a heated Facebook post thread that is 100 percent not my business.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 18, 2020
13.
https://twitter.com/juliareinstein/status/1262198386574458881
14.
https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1262864235341549570
15.
me desperately clicking “leave meeting” so I’m not the last one left with the host
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 20, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/ethiopienne/status/1263083500976115713
17.
people are so anxious for bars to re-open like they don't know you can charge yourself double for a beer and stare at your phone at home too
— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 21, 2020
18.
I WISH I KNEW WHAT KIND OF MUSIC MY DOG LIKES
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) May 16, 2020
19.
ME: Why can't I sleep?
BRAIN: The team put together a PowerPoint of every worst case scenario that could go even more wrong. Dave, can you dim the lights? We'll get started.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 17, 2020
20.
https://twitter.com/mindykaling/status/1263573696020529152
21.
i miss that awkward 30 seconds after leaving the movie theater with someone else where both of u have to announce whether u liked the movie or not but nobody wants to give their opinion first in case they’re wrong
— helen (@helen) May 20, 2020
22.
https://twitter.com/fathercookie/status/1263042672455028736
23.
https://twitter.com/astonoha/status/1263299204010479617