Pleated Jeans
For as often as I’m holding onto my phone for dear life, I’m still pretty paranoid about other people seeing what’s on it. Yes, it’s because I’m a pervert. Because of this, the r/AskReddit thread started by u/TTVKrooked really set off all my alarms.
“What is the worst notification you have received whilst someone else has had your phone?” they asked.
I expected the stories to mostly be about discovering partners are cheating or seeing unwelcome nudes, but that really only accounts for like 20 percent of the crazy stuff that has happened to people. Many shared times when they sent a message that ended up in the wrong hands. I now know I will never share a screen with a boss, a teacher, or a relative. Fellow perverts only.
1.
I was the one doing the sending. I moved to Japan a couple of years ago and early one morning I was at a market and saw a tanuki statue that had the full cock’n’balls on display. I took a picture of it and thought it would be funny to send my brother a message reading “UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!” then send a pic of the tanuki statue.
Little did I know, halfway around the world, my brother was doing some late evening car shopping. He had recently been in an accident that had totaled his car and was in the market for a new one. He had handed the car salesman his phone so he could show the guy the pics of the damage to his car and the guy was looking through them when the words “UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!” popped up on the screen. My brother said the guy nearly dropped the phone trying to shove it back in his hands. —schnit123
2.
My SIL was staying with me for a week, which I wasn’t stoked about. My sister knew about it and messaged me “How are you dealing with (SIL’s name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?”
Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since. —Sufficient_Cat
3.
My boyfriend and I send each other sh*t randomly during the day like “FedEx me that pecker” or “flap them tits my way”.
I was showing my mom something on my phone once and he sends “gonna slap u with my dick tonight” —SlytherinAhri
4.
I remember when i was like 13 my mom was showing me something on her phone. My dad was away on a business trip and texted her. I said oh dad texted you. She’s like whats it say? And i read it (in my head thank god) and it said something like “i cant wait to make love to you again” 13 year old me just turned red and handed back the phone. —motherofdoves
5.
My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away. The notification read @analfister6969 has followed you. —zerinotseri
6.
I had this roommate my sophomore year of college and we had a very weird, close personal relationship. I was in my Spanish prof’s office hours and she was waiting for me at the cafeteria to get lunch together. Just before going in I texted her and asked her to get me some fries, and then I turned off my phone. I was showing my prof my paper on my laptop screen, very much forgetting that I had iMessage set up on my laptop.
I’ll never forget the look on his face when a notification from my roommate came in with her (jokingly) saying “I’ll get you fries but only if you sensually feed them to me while you call me daddy”. Suffice it to say, that was my last time visiting his office hours! —layahuasca
7.
I was ordering food off of doordash on my exes phone when she got a text from guy saying he couldn’t wait to see her that weekend. She told me she was going to see her mom. —greekfire01
8.
A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well, we were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying “Today’s the day! You’re ovulating!”
I swiped it real quick and I dont think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he’d think i was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that.
Edit: and I was the sender once when I text my friend who was planning to break up with her bf “hope you’re ok, how did Gary take the break up?” When Gary was using her phone and hadn’t yet been broken up with. Sorry Gary. —UnderTheHarvestMoon
9.
My friend texting me “I’ll eat ur ass” while I was showing my mom a meme,,, never swiped away a notification so fast in my mf life
Edit: we’re both girls and it was a joke (I think, prolly not tho, knowing her) —Thatgayshlt
10.
Other way around: I was holding ex-husband’s phone while he was driving me and the kids to the airport. Text comes in from a “work colleague” asking if we’d left yet.
It was then that I realised the marriage was over. —Mageta14