Hannah
Gatekeepers are a terrible type of person who thinks that if someone hasn’t experienced enough of something, they shouldn’t be allowed to have an opinion or mention it at all. You know, like Peter at the pearly gates keeping people out of Heaven except in this case it’s some guy named Dylan and he wants you to prove your right to wear a Rolling Stones shirt. You better know your top 10 favorite songs of the cuff or find a new shirt, buddy.
1. Protector of music.
2. Defender of hairstyles.
3. Guardian of facial hair.
4. Shielder of coffee orders.
5. Withstander of Star Wars.
6. Champion of Manly Men.
7. Protector of the letter g.
8. Warder of miscarriages.
9. Preserver of franchises.
10. Warden of knee scars.
11. Guardian angel of passing out at work.
12. Watchman of mental illness.
13. Curator of Christianity.
14. Guard of the chopsticks.
15. Champion of dog sizes.
16. Defender of depth.
17. Protector of watching stuff.
18. Keeper of Catholicism.
19. Lord of capitalist exploitation.
20. Watchman of the alphabet.
21. Champion of adulthood.
22. Shielder of the value of life.
23. Withstander autism.
24. Custodian of Pokemon.
25. Keeper of police brutality.
