Hannah
Happy 2021, everyone.
Here you have it, your first of 49-52 funniest tweets from women dumps this year.
I sincerely hope you’re enjoying these and will consider giving these very funny women a follow on Twitter.
It’s called self-care, look it up.
Closure isn’t real. Cut your hair, get a tattoo, rob a bank and start dating again.
— m i s h (@_moimichelle) December 27, 2020
I just like the suspense.
I love hitting a paywall and being like "guess we'll never know"
— aubrey (@aubreybell) December 29, 2020
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled.
there is no greater lie than me calling my yoga pants "yoga pants"
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 29, 2020
This is not the time for jokes.
when i got my first gyno exam as a teenager, the gynecologist asked me what I wanted to do for a career. I said I wanted to be an artist. Then while checking my cervix she said- “i wanted to be a muppeteer”.
— Lisa DuBois (@joaniejabronie) December 27, 2020
I’ll take 1M.
could i interest u in plant? pic.twitter.com/uz0IYkh8Ah
— ˗ˋˏ*̣̩⋆̩ 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎 ⋆̩*̣̩ˎˊ˗ (@FrickinDelanie) December 30, 2020
I kind of expected this.
wowww it’s 2021 here in korea!! wanna know what the future is like?!!
– it is dark out
– everyone is asian
– my grandma is gently snoring— Karen Chee (@karencheee) December 31, 2020
Cash me on the Twitters.
hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 31, 2020
It’s all part of the “process”
I am a WRITER ok I open up my little computer when I have an IDEA and then I BUY THINGS on the INTERNET
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) December 29, 2020
Hot take!
I am simply saying that if Jesus only had 12 followers maybe he was a bot
— Grace Bahler (@oatmilkforever) December 24, 2020
These birds have no idea how hard I’m gonna pound them with my eyes.
I bought myself binoculars for an early birthday gift. Bout to watch tf out of these birds.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) December 30, 2020
Brave.
OK I’ll say it I can’t wait for 2021 to be over
— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) December 31, 2020
E-Cities are the future.
anyone: happy nye
my brain: happy new york ecity
— Hillary (not sara) (@smithsara79) January 1, 2021
Took me a minute.
Elf on the shelf? Get ready for 🤑🤑🤑: pic.twitter.com/k0hE1xxH1B
— The Nostalgia Queen (@Snow_Blacck) December 31, 2020
Tell me her name! I have a right to know!
can’t trust a guy who faces the other way whilst you’re sleeping. what’s over there? other women??
— ً (@tularosaax) December 27, 2020
Please don’t message me the price, thanks.
I assume a Peloton is like $10,000
so every time a person I know buys one I’m like holy shit is everyone a millionaire?! I will not look up the actual price— amil (@amil) December 27, 2020
Kinky.
https://twitter.com/dovenymph/status/1344442546404003840
They’re really piling up at this point.
WHEN THIS PANDEMIC IS OVER I'M GONNA GO WILD addressing my non-urgent medical issues that i've been ignoring
— DALIA MALEK (@DALIA) December 28, 2020
☠️☠️☠️
R.I.P. 2020 (2020 – 2020)
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 31, 2020
I support this plan.
At this point. Just give us $2600 cause we all confused.
— ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ (@the1stBran) December 28, 2020
Muy hilarious.
Hilaria Baldwin needs to take this whole mess to the Red Table…or as she would say, the Mesa Roja.
— Julia Young (@okjulia) December 28, 2020
I mean, you can’t put a price on your kid, but you CAN put a price on a private jet.
my favorite part of home alone is when they briefly consider chartering a private plane but decide the kid is not worth it defund winnetka, illinois
— ziwe (@ziwe) December 27, 2020