Mike
Shit happens. Like, a lot.
So chances are it’ll be your turn to take the brunt of it at some point. That’s why it’s important to enjoy the times when it’s happening to someone else.
Funny fails are only hilarious with a little perspective…
1. I took some aspirin when I was tired it was really late at night. I realized an hour later what I took was not aspirin.
2. I asked the kids to check on how many eggs we had left, quote “We have plenty.”
3. My neighbors had a party last night. That’s my trampoline.
4. Christmas Lunch ruined for a few extra $ on weigh-in.
5. Candle was super fragrant last night… now I know why!
6. Ordered One Brussel Sprout instead of 1kg! Need to cut it into four to go round!
7. Every year on this day, I get this memory of the closest ill ever get to winning the lotto.
8. Well, just finished building a lego set with my oldest son. His younger brother then grabs part of the set, runs outside, and drops it down the sewer vent.
9. We heard a crash in the middle of the night – thought it was a thief but it was this…
10. My sister asked for a Nintendo Switch for Xmas… her boyfriend must have misunderstood.
11. There was a piece of sand on my glasses cleaning cloth.
12. In celebration of the new year, people like to shoot bullets into the air in Pakistan. One managed to go through my window.
13. “2021 Dad of the Year” ladies and gentlemen. I told her to shower, instead of rinsing her hair out, right after dying it.
14. The diamond in my ring fell out today. It came with a 10-year workmanship guarantee. Yesterday was our 10th wedding anniversary.
15. I bought my first house 2 months ago. I realized today that the hose of my dryer is connected to nothing.
16. Never broke a phone before I’m my life, first day I get my new one with no insurance I drop it 4 feet and this happens.
17. Happily playing with a ball…
18. Bought a case for the switch lite I got for my son’s birthday later this week. Had no idea the amazon driver yeeted it over the back fence, the dog opened it up and destroyed it, then I slipped and got my clothes caked in mud whilst retrieving it from the garden.
19. The previous plumber messed up before we moved in. Now we have to deal with it.
20. Today my GF is 23.
21. Constipation for straight 19 days.
22. Got this for Christmas because I always lose my keys, but now I can’t find my keys to put it on the keychain.
